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Looks to me like your new career should be in HR writing job ads... No I really want to devote a portion of my life to the art of being daft and cheering people up. I have spent decades in various roles that amount to little more than peddling tat that I don't even care about. In the words of my esteemed colleagues and peers "it's time to *monetize* buffoonery" By the way, I love this...
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Last Edit: Apr 6, 2019 12:28:17 GMT by Deleted
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In other (more relevant) news, the first of my two solutions to my leaking vacuum unit has arrived. I never do things by half. I rarely ever do things by one either, I do things by two. In this case... having my own vac unit rebuilt AND ALSO buying a 2nd hand replacement. The replacement looks different to the one that came off my car. I knew it would because I sent the seller pictures of my vac unit and asked him specifically if it is a visual match for the one he was selling. Rather than answering "Yes" or "No", he replied instead to merely confirm "Its the vacuum unit off a Motorcraft distributor from a 1973 Essex taken out of a Scimitar SE5a". Which to me made it very obvious it wasnt a match at all, because "Yes" would have been quicker. But the thing is I don't know whether the one that came off my car is correct or not anyway. It could have been bodged on from a Healey Sprite for all I know. So at least I will have two kinds to try out if this one actually fits. So this one (pics will be added after I've posted) has a hex nut at the end of the vaccum travel shaft. I presume then that unlike my original one this one offers a degree of vacumm effect adjustability... I can wind it out to increase timing advance amount via a longer range of suck, or wind it in to reduce the amount of travel the vacuum can create. Which is... well its bl00dy inconvenient really, because now I'll have to set my timing again if I decide to use this one because it could be advancing to absolutely anywhere as it stands. At least my one was a fixed length and a fixed amount of travel and so stands a reasonable chance of coming home with a new diaphragm that just bolts back in and assumes its roles and responsibilities (roles and responsibilities to include advancing ignition timing at start up and during idling, liaising with carburetor on status and operability via short updates pipeline, ensuring air-tightness across systems, playing a key role in distribution, anchoring to the distribution body in a way that minimises variance and vibration effect to maintain service efficiencies, ensuring effective phasing curves during transition periods between output levels throughout the year, and establishing productive working relationships with coil, oil pump, engine block, HT leads and spark plugs whilst also striving to form productive dialogue with gearbox, front wheels, seats, driver, doors, and all perishable items across the vehicle. Attractive salary, pensions, opportunity to ride a bicycle to work and 20 days holiday included). New (old) item... The one that came off my car for reference...
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Last Edit: Apr 6, 2019 13:15:25 GMT by Deleted
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Did you know the Japanese liked Princess Anne's car so much, they made a little one? Hopefully that works and I don't have to download it from the book of faces..
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I think you may be missing the word "responsible" in your job description/plan off action sandy , otherv than that ,brilliant re your nut , looking ta it i would guess its so you can remove the spring inside and change the vac/movement ratio? if its airtight , and the arm sticks out of it the same distance as the old one , then bung it on ..the timing should not change from your static setting . oh let me guess the other one , that you took off, is away being repaired and you don't know how long the arm was ?
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oh let me guess the other one , that you took off, is away being repaired and you don't know how long the arm was ? Correct! Looking at smartphone pictures they look like they're probably the same, probably... ish. My one though had a lot of travel. As a memory-guess I'd say the arm retracted a full 5-6mm. This one ... it's just a little bit of movement, maybe 1-2mm, and it's a much stiffer movement. I think I'm going to wait for mine to come back before I make any decisions. Car is having a very rare weekend of no use at all.
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maybe that 1-2mm movement one is a bit siezed up , bearing in mind it looks like it arrived on planet earth buried in the middle of an old truffle ,after travelling from a parallel universe 5 gazillion years ago , and experiencing a level of interstellar cold below zero kelvin ,cos in the other universe different rules apply , it may need a bit of wd40 ?
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maybe that 1-2mm movement one is a bit siezed up , bearing in mind it looks like it arrived on planet earth buried in the middle of an old truffle ,after travelling from a parallel universe 5 gazillion years ago , and experiencing a level of interstellar cold below zero kelvin ,cos in the other universe different rules apply , it may need a bit of wd40 ? It doesn't feel seized. The movement is very mechanically limited - if you catch my drift - ie it's a hard stop at both ends of travel. Thats why I think the nut might be about adjustability. Maybe you can turn it out for longer travel, or there's a chunky washer in there that can be changed. I don't know. Not going to mess with it until I know what I need to do with it. Not entirely sure what chemical effect WD40 might have on 45 year old rubber. It's a moisture disperser. Could lead to rapid crystallisation of already vintage rubber. My one has clearly been rebuilt in the past. The sealing lip has been prized open and badly deformed. In one place it looks like it was cracked or pinch-cut when closing it back up. This, I suspect, might be a potential snafu for the refurbishers but we'll see what they say. This replacement one has never been opened up, so the diaphragm inside is going to be the original. I don't think it's a good idea to mess with it too much. I'll keep it as a back-up. See what comes back from H&H, and if their rebuild seems good I'll sell this replacement one.
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Last Edit: Apr 7, 2019 12:03:01 GMT by Deleted
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I just want a job that's primarily about cheering people up. You already have that job, on here. Unfortunately, the salary isn't "all that".
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Saw this and thought of you. Nice old barge.
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Saw this and thought of you. Nice old barge. Okay. You can come back.
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luckyseven
Posted a lot
Owning sneering dismissive pedantry since 1970
Posts: 3,839
Club RR Member Number: 45
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERluckyseven
@luckyseven
Club Retro Rides Member 45
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Apr 10, 2019 10:04:53 GMT
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As usual, a day or two out and I've got pages to catch up on On the subject of carb jet buckets (other mind-bendingly fiddly and irritating jobs are available) I use Chinese takeaway containers.... since we switched from a Chinese that use the old-style eezeee-leak foil containers to ones that use new unbiodegradeable turtle-choking plastic ones, that is. Washed out, they're a seemingly limitless resource for storing vital rusty bolts, nuts widgets and springs that you'll never remember where they came from or what they did. Or indeed, which apparently identical Chinese punnet they now live in. But, and it's a big BUT, when I run out of punnets it's a perfect excuse to have another Chinese takeaway. And I do love Singapore fried rice On the subject of glenanderson's unannounced cab rides, I dunno what South Eastern CDMs were like but if one of ours tried that without at least bringing a coffee with them they'd get pretty short shift. I find the tactic of waiting till they start asking a question, letting them get eight syllables into it and then shout/whispering "Shhhhh! I'm concentrating on driving here!" works pretty well at getting them so stressed they mutter a couple of half-ar$ed questions about hot axle box detectors and then scurry off at the first opportunity to write up a nonsensicla cab ride report including buzz words like "personal risk management strategies" and "safety factors implemented going forwards" ...which brings us onto job descriptions. When I started in my current job it would have gone something along the lines of "candidates must be able to operate on an average of three and a half hours sleep; successfully hide a weapons-grade hangover from any incumbent manager (who will most likely still be in bed anyway); operate mostly alone unless they fancy letting a mate in for a chat; be able to take barracking and victimisation from old hands that would have hardened war veterans eating the muzzle of their Armalite simply for being a 'boil-in-the-bag'; be willing to explode random humans all over the landscape like confetti and scrape burst deer giblets off air line cocks in order to get air bursts stopped; must be happy to randomly fail in the geographical centre of nowhere with no means of communication and eight hundred doomed souls to care for whilst they return to a Lord-of-the-Flies style primitive culture; furthermore be able to operate in a Zen state of problem solving including NASA-level engineering, MENSA-level lateral thinking, Victora Derbyshire-level empathy for punters all the while talking to three different 'authorities' via three different means of communication; all the while must be happy to perform a nine hour fifty four minute shift with a half hour break". Now the job description would read "needy millennial wanted. Insulting amounts of money paid. Must be able to phone someone and follow instructions" anyhoo. Vacuum thing. Nice
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Last Edit: Apr 10, 2019 10:05:12 GMT by luckyseven
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Frankenhealey
Club Retro Rides Member
And I looked, and behold, a pale horse! And its rider's name was Death
Posts: 3,875
Club RR Member Number: 15
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERFrankenhealey
@frankenhealey
Club Retro Rides Member 15
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Apr 10, 2019 10:20:51 GMT
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...which brings us onto job descriptions. When I started in my current job it would have gone something along the lines of "candidates must be able to operate on an average of three and a half hours sleep; successfully hide a weapons-grade hangover from any incumbent manager (who will most likely still be in bed anyway); operate mostly alone unless they fancy letting a mate in for a chat; be able to take barracking and victimisation from old hands that would have hardened war veterans eating the muzzle of their Armalite simply for being a 'boil-in-the-bag'; be willing to explode random humans all over the landscape like confetti and scrape burst deer giblets off air line cocks in order to get air bursts stopped; must be happy to randomly fail in the geographical centre of nowhere with no means of communication and eight hundred doomed souls to care for whilst they return to a Lord-of-the-Flies style primitive culture; furthermore be able to operate in a Zen state of problem solving including NASA-level engineering, MENSA-level lateral thinking, Victora Derbyshire-level empathy for punters all the while talking to three different 'authorities' via three different means of communication; all the while must be happy to perform a nine hour fifty four minute shift with a half hour break". Now the job description would read "needy millennial wanted. Insulting amounts of money paid. Must be able to phone someone and follow instructions" Oh how I larfed
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Tales of the Volcano Lair hereFrankenBug - Vulcan Power hereThe Frankenhealey here
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Apr 10, 2019 11:03:13 GMT
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Oh how I larfed You 'n' me both!
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glenanderson
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 4,115
Club RR Member Number: 64
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERglenanderson
@glenanderson
Club Retro Rides Member 64
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Apr 10, 2019 12:22:01 GMT
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Our lot are seemingly set on taking on a load of “needy millennials” too. A fact that is slightly softened by the reality that they all seem to be successfully getting themselves sacked for performance/safety failings within a year or two of being rushed through passed out.
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My worst worry about dying is my wife selling my stuff for what I told her it cost...
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Apr 10, 2019 13:06:15 GMT
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"safety factors implemented going forwards" Not backwards too? all the while must be happy to perform a nine hour fifty four minute sh1t with a half hour break". ^ Is what I thought it said. Didn't know whether to be impressed or horrified. Are you ex-military L7?
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Apr 10, 2019 13:19:29 GMT
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The reason I asked this is because you then go on to bemoan the plight of recruiting millennials. There is an intersection of interests/experiences there. I did a big project last year for the Dutch MOD in relation to the role as art of the UN peacekeeping force. It was all about cultural awareness when 'invading' a culturally different land in the name of 'peace keeping and protection'. Because there's a massive disconnect for near-third world villagers when a legion of 8ft tall Dutch special forces berzerkers drop out of chinooks, heavily plastered with armour plating, weird technology and carrying formidable weapons, who then stomp about finding strategic positions in people's huts and on religious mounds while handing out cards written in army wording and army typography on army paper that say "YOU CAN RELAX WE'RE HERE TO PROTECT YOUR WAY OF LIFE" But that's context (or more accurately... a digression) because they also asked me to advise them about recruitment. Military recruitment is down everywhere, no less so in the Netherlands. They wanted to understand how they could attract the best candidates, and retain them, rather than the dregs, who then wander off again. It was very interesting because at this point in time the cultural framework that millennials subscribe to is almost completely the opposite to what the army needs and offers. So if you follow it through to a logical conclusion you end up with a recruitment campaign that largely offers Millennials the chance to drift in on flexi-time, be excused from anything difficult or dangerous, to connect with peers in a meaningful way, and to be free to create their own career path based on their wants and needs, and to leave again whenever it suits them. It was hilarious and horrifying in equal measure. It also goes some way towards explaining why the British Army put a campaign out a few years ago that features pictures of British soldiers just sat around in a circle in the dust, hugging each other and doing nothing soldierly at all... like keeping a watchful eye on the surrounding landscape or taking cover or ... or anything at all.
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vulgalour
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 7,099
Club RR Member Number: 146
Member is Online
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This was the NAUGHTY CORNERvulgalour
@vulgalour
Club Retro Rides Member 146
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I nearly joined the Army once. I was pretty desperate for a job at the time. Having seen what it's done to friends over the years, most of whom are now quite dead and those that aren't ending up not that much better off, I'm glad I pursued a different career path. I do blame the Army's unrealistic expectations for forcing me into call centre work, and for that I can never forgive them. It's okay, I escaped that too.
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Apr 11, 2019 19:26:18 GMT
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