lord13
Part of things
Posts: 536
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Hi all... First off, Moderators, if this post is supposed to be somewhere else, i.e. 'cars for sale', please move it there, I just put it here as it's not exactly a 'for sale' type of thing... Let me explain.. For the past two years my daughter has lived with her mother, and has had sporadic contact with me. Which was strange as she previously lived with me with no real issues, but one day she went to visit and never came back. I've since found out that this was due to some reprehensible 'emotional blackmail' on the mothers part, but that is a separate issue and will be dealt with accordingly. This is difficult for me. On the 6th of November my daughter attempted suicide, and is now in a secure mental health unit that is 40 miles away from me receiving treatment for her various issues, and I'm happy to say, is making good positive progress. I visit as much as i can, which is two to three times a week. Now unfortunately her mother has all but washed her hands of her so I will be stepping up my visits, and trying to get there so she sees someone at least nearly everyday. And here is my problem, My car, It is a Cavalier Convertible, and although in good condition, with 11 months mot, it is not the car for barreling up and down the M1 daily. I tried to sell it earlier in the year but I believe I was asking too much, and now, as I cannot be without a car, selling is not an option as then I would have to find another vehicle, go and view then buy etc, which all takes up valuable visiting time. So I'm asking does anyone want to swap? I have a list of criteria which sounds picky but I will explain... Must be a classic ( classic insurance is around £100, as opposed to normal insurance which comes in around £400-£700 for me) Must be, but not essential, a vauxhall ( I have loads of vaux spares that can be swapped between vehicles and have knowledge of them more than other makes) Must be economical ( my 1.8 is actually quite good on economy, around 35-40 on the run, which is fine, I can't afford any lower than this so volvos and carltons are out) Must be a tin top ( I live in fear of my canvas roof parting company with my car or some random piece of detrius thrown up from a lorry coming through the fabric) Must be in similar road worthy condition to mine, and with a similar length MOT. So, I feel I'm overstepping the mark, or being cheeky, or some other thing, I can and will, continue to use my cav daily, up and down the M1 one, as I am happy to do so, and I also have no choice but to continue, I just thought if someone wanted a change, or had a hankering for a convertible and wished to save this one from me we could come to a deal.... and in 'a deal' I mean a swap as all my cash goes to fuel at the minute, I cannot buy anything. Basically I'd like to swap my Cavalier rag-top for an Astra or Cavalier tin-top, that's the basis of it, I will consider other cars obviously. I feel a bit cheap to be honest, I didn't know what else to do, It is not essential to swap, but it would be more practical. some pictures of the car...
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brachunky
Scotland
Posts: 1,314
Club RR Member Number: 72
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A bit of a plea for help . . . brachunky
@brachunky
Club Retro Rides Member 72
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No help with the car but all the best doing what you are for your daughter.It will be a huge drain both emotionally and in resource but the loving thing to do. Dads and their girls have that special bond worth cherishing despite the challenges.
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Dez
Club Retro Rides Member
And I won't sit down. And I won't shut up. And most of all I will not grow up.
Posts: 11,710
Club RR Member Number: 34
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A bit of a plea for help . . . Dez
@dez
Club Retro Rides Member 34
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In all honesty, given your difficult situation and your criteria for a new vehicle- stick with what you know.
If all that lets the cav down is a fabric roof, it’s going to be far better than most prospective replacements of that age. Is in regular use and you know everything on it mechanically and presumably rust-wise is half decent. Swapping it out for an unknown tintop that then starts spitting bits out or needs welding would be a disaster.
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In all honesty, given your difficult situation and your criteria for a new vehicle- stick with what you know. If all that lets the cav down is a fabric roof, it’s going to be far better than most prospective replacements of that age. Is in regular use and you know everything on it mechanically and presumably rust-wise is half decent. Swapping it out for an unknown tintop that then starts spitting bits out or needs welding would be a disaster. Couldn’t agree move, better the devil you know, and that comes from someone who is dailying a mk3 escort cabrio currently! Good luck mate, ive been in the same situation as regards daughters and mental health, we’re almost out the other side, and she now has a great partner and ive got a grandson to show for it!
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A bit of a plea for help . . . Mercdan68
@forddan68
Club Retro Rides Member 68
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Again I can’t help But please accept our praise for getting on with the issues your daughter is battling, we sincerely hope you and your daughter become a stronger bond and our thoughts are with yourselves during this time of year Good luck and all the best Danny and family
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Fraud owners club member 1999 Jaguar s type 1993 ford escort
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Not much help either. But I agree with what other have said. I wish you and your girl the very best. Do are doing an awesome job!!
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Another no help from me, but as someone who lost a "daughter" to a vindictive mother, I understand the pain. The mental health issues are beyond my ken though.
I just hope that it all works out for the the two of you.
On the car front, I'd echo those who say stick with what you know. You know yours is capable of doing the distance, reasonably economically and is used every day. Get a swap with something that's only used every other weekend and you could wind up with all sorts of mither.
In the end, a repair to a soft top is going to be easier to deal with than a load of welding or unexpected mechanical problems.
Best of luck.
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Last Edit: Dec 9, 2019 12:13:29 GMT by georgeb
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lord13
Part of things
Posts: 536
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Thank you for all the kind words... it means a lot, and my thoughts go out to all those who are in, or have been in, a similar situation.
You are probably right on the car front, I can just jump in the cav and drive it, I've got to know it inside and out over the past few months and I am aware of what it can and can't do. I guess i was just in one of those 'panic moments' you find yourself in when you're in this type of situation, always second guessing your decisions and wondering where you went wrong... you get some pretty severe 'lows' when you feel helpless..
Thankyou all
Hey... maybe someone, somewhere, has one of those super rare removable hardtops that Hammond & Theide were supposed to have made as an alternative to their soft top conversion . . . although i've only heard rumours of such a thing...
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Last Edit: Dec 9, 2019 20:03:52 GMT by lord13
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In all honesty, given your difficult situation and your criteria for a new vehicle- stick with what you know. If all that lets the cav down is a fabric roof, it’s going to be far better than most prospective replacements of that age. Is in regular use and you know everything on it mechanically and presumably rust-wise is half decent. Swapping it out for an unknown tintop that then starts spitting bits out or needs welding would be a disaster. I'd say that pretty much hits the nail on the head. The Cav is a known quantity, better that than a leap into the unknown.
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1953 Minor (Long term project) PT Cruiser
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brc76
RR Helper
Posts: 1,106
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Can't help with the car, however I think we all want to wish your daughter well. I have some experience here, so realisticly it is a long road back from where she is, and the only advice I can offer is to be there for her and offer to listen to whatever she has to say whenever she is ready to do so.
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Hi all... So I'm asking does anyone want to swap? I have a list of criteria which sounds picky but I will explain... Must be a classic ( classic insurance is around £100, as opposed to normal insurance which comes in around £400-£700 for me) Must be, but not essential, a vauxhall ( I have loads of vaux spares that can be swapped between vehicles and have knowledge of them more than other makes) Must be economical ( my 1.8 is actually quite good on economy, around 35-40 on the run, which is fine,) Must be in similar road worthy condition to mine, and with a similar length MOT. Sounds like you need... the car you have. It does 35-40mpg, as good as any classic. It's cheap to insure, if it does break down you have the spares and knowledge to fix it, and after a hard day it might, maybe, just bring a smile to your face when you go to get into your Cav and not some dull but perfectly capable Yawnomotor. I can only echo what everyone else has said and as has been mentioned there are a wealth of people on here that have gone through similar situations, so don't be afraid to send a few PMs off - sometimes speaking to a stranger who isn't inside the situation can be a good way to release tension and stress. If you do and absolutely must find a swap deal, you might want to post up your location too.
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Time and money are probably tight right now. But if you could find a 2nd soft top frame, and you don't mind it looking a bit ratty, you could probably skin it in aluminum sheet without too much trouble.
At later date, if you'd want, you could build it up with foam and cover it in vinyl for a better hard top look.
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lord13
Part of things
Posts: 536
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Again thankyou for all the responses, I am overwhelmed by the amount of people on here who have offered advice, and, as it seems is the general consensus, I should stick with what I know. Which is a relief to be honest.... I was kinda worried that I would be somehow looked down on for driving what amounts to a 'toy' in some peoples eyes when I should be driving something more practical and everyday when going to visit my daughter. I don't know why, but sometimes an idea takes hold and it's difficult to shake .. I am a bit all over the place to be honest... but what has shone through this is the amount of people that have commented on here, and all of them positive, I am sincerely grateful to you all and it is a credit to this forum that the responses were so swift and helpful.
Thankyou all.
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Dec 10, 2019 20:47:47 GMT
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Not much to add except for a friends daughter went through a similar time (not the parents bit, but all the rest). I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy, but she is well out of the other side of it now, has been for a good five years or so. She's now got a daughter of her own and is training to be a counsellor - as she says, if you've lived through it you can be there to help others do the same. Best of luck, Neil
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1968 Cal Look Beetle - 2007cc motor - 14.45@93mph in full street trim 1970-ish Karmann Beetle cabriolet - project soon to be re-started. 1986 Scirocco - big plans, one day!
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Ryannn
Posted a lot
Posts: 2,420
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Dec 10, 2019 20:54:04 GMT
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Always bear in mind that they were made to drive. Plenty of cavaliers will have spent years bombing up and down the M1 with suit jackets hung in the back 😆
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Dec 24, 2019 16:53:00 GMT
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Kind thoughts to your daughter & yourself, mental health is becoming a very common problem in modern society, and affects everyone involved.
Car options : how difficult ( and / or expensive) would it be to cut a hard-top from a car that's being broken and bolt that to your car? Personally I really rate Peugoet / Citroen diesels for reliable economical motoring, but any change means you're starting with an unknown car and all the niggles that brings.
Top marks for offering to swap, hope it works out for you if you decide to go that route but keeping what you have also sounds a sensible option.
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Dec 24, 2019 17:39:28 GMT
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Cannot offer any advice on the family front but have in times gone by swapped a few vehicles. What appears a simple like for like swap can be anything but. Dubious individuals trying to shift dog pooh in a posh turd frock can be the scourge of the car swap world. My working principle was to listen to the sales pitch then run the registration plate through DVLA vehicle information then mot history section. Looking back just a couple of years will give you an idea how a vehicle is looked after or not. Then you have to be prepared for the infamous needs a ten pound part of Fleabay or havent got time to fix. Add the next few weeks fixing small but sometimes expensive past owner bodges and it soon becomes clear swapping a car is in the same minefield as buying a car, retro, modern or in between. However i have to say there are genuine car swappers out there. Have met one or two but thats a low percentage in my opinion. Better the devil you know as other RR members have stated is true but you never know what might be offered and through RR id expect it to be genuine.
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Started out with nothing and have most of it left.
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Dec 24, 2019 20:04:05 GMT
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Better the devil you know as other RR members have stated is true but you never know what might be offered and through RR id expect it to be genuine. I've picked up a handful of cars from the forum over the years. Most have been as described, some have been pleasant surprises but one in particular failed (despite sellers assurances) on several major points. I found it very disappointing but then found the seller had a track record of similar sales. Averages say you will get a genuine (maybe not perfect - bit all faults declared) car on here, but try to check the sellers history before deciding
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Dec 24, 2019 21:06:29 GMT
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Its getting the car swap from anywhere else that might be the problem like dedicated swap sites but id say all the RR members ive dealt with have been brilliant and getting a car swap of this forum would as i said earlier be no problem as genuine car enthusiasts tend to help each other and the swap i got from RR site i travelled to the RR member at his work and he insisted on paying my fuel costs.
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Started out with nothing and have most of it left.
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I can't help with the car, other than to echo what others have said. The mk2 Cav was the mainstay of pretty much everyone who had a job that involved traveling not that long ago. OK yours is a cab but it sounds perfect to me.
Fingers crossed 2020 is a better year for your family. It sounds like she's getting the help she needs and the support from you will be invaluable. Mental health is something we often don't think about until it goes south.
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Jaguar S-Type 3.0 SE
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