So we needed a fresh MOT on the van, expiry on the existing one 18 November.
So I drove down to the MOT testing station to see if this crack would be a fail.
What do you think?
Turns out, the rules have once again changed and it is not an automatic fail.
So cheekily, and optimistically I book the car/van in for a cancelled spot at 4.30, and say “See ya later” heading out to Morrisons to buy some food as I had not gone food shopping since returning from Scotland and Shropshire.
Go outside to the car park.
Brrrr, Brrrrrr. Brrrrrrr, Brrr, Brrrrr…………. Buggerrrrrrrr.
Car turns over, zero fire.
SERIOUSLY ??
So I do the usual, lock, unlock with the remote, try figure if immobiliser has died, NOPE.
Check under the hood, for any diesel dribbling out, any pipe showing a leak, the clear pipe at 3 way filter shows no bubbles.
Buggerrrrrrr.
I call
Zelandeth just in case he has advice (zero blame, it is my car) luckily he pulls over in a lay-by, chats to me, talks me through the problem solving I already did, dead end. Buggerrrrrrrr.
So I try again, at which point a guy in a Japanese Garage overall comes to add his advice, opinions and double checking my checklist.
Of course we keep trying to start the basterd thing. Brrrrrrr, Brrrrrrrr, Brrrrrrr.
NOPE.
Now we are joined by two “tree surgeon” types nd their 12 year old nephew who is clearly not in school and learning the trade IYKWIM.
More advice, opinions, and a pair of knackered old pliers.
We are also joined now by a very very grubby, real mechanic…. No, a diesel mechanic named Bryan, another super nice guy, really nice.
“Do you have any quick start?”
Nope.
Deodorant?
Nope.
So mechanic no 1 disappears, while I open the scuttle to make sure nothing is under water under there.
Nope, all dry.
Buggerrrrrrr…….
Mechanic no 1 comes back from inside the test centre, toilet spray in hand.
WTF?
So we try open the air intake with said pliers which the Tree surgeons had graciously let us use.
Fail. Pliers are only good for melting down into something more useful.
So I grab an empty sample aerosol can of VW Reflex Silver that Zelandeth had tossed in the back for me to use as Sample when I went to buy paint, and said toilet refresher spray to pry open the demon clip around the air intake pipe, and mechanic no 1 pulls it off.
So back inside, ignition on, mechanic no 2 (the diesel guy) spraying toilet spray and once it almost sounds like a fire up, but no, must have imagined it.
One tin of toilet spray later, the engine compartment smells lovely, I am frowning and sweating, been there an hour already.
Buggerrrrrrr…..
One by one the witnesses disappear to do more interesting stuff, like ordering pizza over the road.
I close the door, take the key and sheepishly go indoors to cancel my 4.30pm test.
That’ll learn me to be so cocksure.
Buggerrrrrrr…….
So I go to plan C (A was me alone, B was the team) which is calling a recovery service.
Green flag take down my details, and problem explained clearly ,and say a company will contact me soon on their behalf (subcontracting at its best)
Telling them the whole story in detail, I make the fatal mistake of saying I am 1. Male, 2. Safe, 3. No dependants present.
I would regret that later, when 40 minutes later, said recovery service sub-contractor office calls me to say they understand my cars battery is flat and their guys will be there in 30 minutes.
So that will make my being there around 120 minutes.
40 minutes later, a text, stating that due to high demand their technicians are still dealing with the previous case and are delayed.
40 minutes later another text SERIOUSLY, DUE TO HIGH DEMAND technicians will be there at 5.45pm
In the mean time I had smelled other peoples pizza, asked a pair of guys sitting in the back of a Transit van with a supersized pizza each, if it was good, they confirmed this, not offering to share or anything like that.
So I walked over the street, ordered a 10” American hot.
Possibly the best, cheesiest pizza I have had in 10 years, seriously, with raw Birds Eye chillis.
They reminded me at 3.00 am just how good they were…… despite the early, rude awakening, zero regrets.
Best part of my day for sure.
So when the second delay text came through, it was about 5.45pm.
The test centre closes at 5.30 for last test.
So I was mildly pi$$€d despite the good memories of the pizza.
So I just randomly walked out and tried to start the Caddy.
Brrrrrrrrr…. Zippp, Clatterrrr Clatterrr…..; Diesel engine
noises.
It’s a bloody miracle, it’s running again !!!
So I leave it running, head back indoors, into the partially closed office and reception area to say I got it started, as I get to the door, one of the testers comes walking out, we always chat when I take stuff to be tested, and he had told me the glass would not be a fail on the test.
So he says do you still want it tested?
I reply that it is now 5.50 and they need to shut shop and head home.
He replies that he will see if someone can test it for me, and that I need to just quickly go tell the receptionist to add it back to the system, and if nobody can test it, he will do it for me.
SERIOUSLY
So I go indoors and speak with her, citing tester no 1’s comment.
She says “No Problem, I will go see if the boss can test if for you”
FCUUUUUK NOOOOO!!
I do not want the boss testing my 21 year old, rusted box, just been dead for three hours outside, Caddy van for me.
That’s got to be a sure recipe for heartache and disaster.
Receptionist comes traipsing back in
“Yes it’s fine, the boss will test it for you, where’s the keys?”
“Inside the POO car” is my reply as the Caddy had already become known as “The Poo car” because of the registration number and its behaviour.to the test centre staff who had seen my distress all afternoon.
OK, I will tell MICHELLE.’
WTAF ?? MICHELLE ??
Seriously?
The boss, is testing my car, way out of business hours and is called Michelle.
As if my day could not get any worse.
So I expected to bearded bloke with salamander blue eye makeup, red lips, fake tits and rainbow coloured finger nails to test the Caddy.
Hello Halloween month of horrors.
Keep in mind, this Caddy had fought me even when I tried to pay for it…….
The damn demon thing hates me.
So the Caddy outside, engine running was waiting for its date with destiny, or density.
I went to pee, as I was pretty much ready to do so in my jeans.
While I was in the toilet, coincidentally, the Caddy disappeared into the test centre and up on the ramp.
With Michelle hovering underneath it, light poking up underneath it, automated testing stuff cleverly testing all the suspension parts, geometry etc.
So I asked permission from my friendly tester who had set this nightmare in motion to ask if I could take a few pics up on the ramp, for my blog, forums and YouTube channel stuff. “Let me go ask Michelle” moments later he was back and said, “Yes, Michelle said no problem, you are the last person left in the test centre” which happens to have about 9 ramps, yes, 9 lifts for testing, one of them for ultra low stuff, and also to test Pickups and high roof, long wheelbase Sprinter sized vehicles and of course motorcycles.
Some took a few pics, watching Michelle move under the Caddy.
Being the chatty guy I am, of course I walked closer up and asked permission to take a few pics underneath as well, and to inspect for myself the Rusty stuff that will need attention.
SURPRISE !!!!
Michelle, the boss, with 20 years of MOT testing experience, learned her trade from her dad, and now runs her own show, turned out to be a lovely, knowledgeable and informative lLADY.
So I took a few more pics, none of her, she is lovely.
Her comment was that, other than the welded in ramp box for the original disability use, the rest of the Caddy is in really good Nick, and has obviously been looked after, having had the right parts replaced and serviced over time.
I then left the shop floor while she carried on testing and by 6.35 the emissions test came in, PASS.
And by 6.45 I got my MOT PASS CERTIFICATE and paid for the test.
Said my thank yous to all and left.
Not switching the car off, I drove straight home and got there with the speedo showing the miles at this point.
That was a stressful day….. well, for me at least.
Massive thanks to all involved, from the tree surgeons in their rotten white Transit van, to the two mechanics and the staff at the test centre, and of course
Zelandeth who took the call, and had said originally that there was no reason for it to fail a test when I bought it, and also the reason why the price was not negotiable.
Right……
Now relax…… 13 months of MOT test to use.
.