lets laugh at the idiot....

[Pillock]

i'm going to try the 1/4 mile at bug jam laying completely flat in my car - i'm a fat git, so i should save loads of weight! I'll just have to assume I've lined up correctly, and then watch for the finish gantry out of the back window.

jeez. the worrying thing is that i think he's serious. Cleaning your car and a generic performance 'rear exhaust' (as opposed to.....?) does not make a 2 second quicker 0-60.

[suffolkpaul]

happy birthday pillock

[Pillock]

yay, thanks

[Smiler]

That's brilliant! Even the missus curse word herself at that.

I bet Halfords love him!

[Smiler]

pillock said:

i'm going to try the 1/4 mile at bug jam laying completely flat in my car - i'm a fat git, so i should save loads of weight! I'll just have to assume I've lined up correctly, and then watch for the finish gantry out of the back window.

;D ;D ;D

[daverapid]

:)Leave the lad alone..he does have a point..I know for a fact that my Skoda is faster when the throttle pedal is folded down with my foot. ;D

[goaferboy]

at least he'll be safe when hes on the ice...

as long as he doesnt take the rear seat with him...

[Nathan]

,my sister used to have 1 a theese and tbf it didnt have enof power to pull a jews foreskin back

Due to this comment I now require a new Keyboard lol

[RoadRacer>>>>>>>>>>]

I don't understand whats so funny, every thing he said made sense to me,

I'm going to go a step further and have a poo before every trip, might even scrape the fur off my tongue.

[Pillock]

i've scientifically proven a decent poo weighs 3/4 of a pound. should be worth something on the track.

I forgot to mention, whilst drag-racing laying down i'll be stark naked and totally shaven. should be worth 0.1sec at least. oh, and i'll turn the hazards on as the switch will then be down, lowering my centre of gravity.

[Speedman]

The tyres are always inflated to 38 PSI to give extra grip and less tyre slouch.

sounds reasonable, also by over inflating the tyres the middle will wear down much quicker, reducing the weight even more

[Deleted]

pillock said:

oh, and i'll turn the hazards on as the switch will then be down, lowering my centre of gravity.

Ah now you see you have made an elementary mistake there, while it is true that your centre of gravity will be lowered this effect will be negated by the drain on the alternator which as we all know requires engine power to be driven.

Which is why at night I drive will all lights off and never ever switch on the stereo, windscreen wipers, rear heated screen or any other electrical devices in my vehicle, this lack of drain on the cars electrical system means I have shaved 0.223 seconds of the car's 0-60 time as well as improving fuel economy and top speed.

It does however mean I often have trouble seeing where I am going of a night time.

[chunkyster]

I always make sure to have a dump before I get in my car (this can be embarrasing on a busy car park after a night out with the misses but at least I have someone to hold the loo roll) it saves on so much weight. I also drive naked and shave all my body hair off, you may think this is for increased aerodynamic ability, its not. Its just because I like to.

[suffolkpaul]

i tend not to eat fo rupto 16 day sprior to a good run. I also drive naked with a shaven head.

[reanimation]

the1 said:

I don't understand whats so funny, every thing he said made sense to me,

I'm going to go a step further and have a poo before every trip, might even scrape the fur off my tongue.

LOLORAMA ;D good call

[rmad]

Actually his car wasn't that bad. I now have no doubts about the existence of reincarnation, that's the rationalising ability of an 80 year old!

[qwerty]

I feel a bit sorry for the lad. His car isn't bad for what it is. I just think he's a bit misguided and clueless.

[whos dave]

Classic!

Can't believe the mods locked it so quickly. If someone posts something like that it should be allowed to go on for several pages of mocking before being locked.

[skoda_norman]

now he goes and joins max power and you have another full-on barry on the road.

surely, a more caring approach should of been taken and told him some other proper mods and encouraged him with his car and worthwhile mods.

on the other hand, it is hard not to laugh when someone comes out with stuff like that!

[Smiler]

jammzr said:

pillock said:

oh, and i'll turn the hazards on as the switch will then be down, lowering my centre of gravity.

Ah now you see you have made an elementary mistake there, while it is true that your centre of gravity will be lowered this effect will be negated by the drain on the alternator which as we all know requires engine power to be driven.

Which is why at night I drive will all lights off and never ever switch on the stereo, windscreen wipers, rear heated screen or any other electrical devices in my vehicle, this lack of drain on the cars electrical system means I have shaved 0.223 seconds of the car's 0-60 time as well as improving fuel economy and top speed.

It does however mean I often have trouble seeing where I am going of a night time.

Especialy whilst lying down! ;D

Have you try'd disabling the ignition system? There's a lot of power going through those heavy high mounted plug leads that must really be loading up the alternator. Also, by removing the spark plugs, you get less internal rotating resistance to the engine.

Every little helps!