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Work and car tales!Mercdan68
@forddan68
Club Retro Rides Member 68
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Aug 19, 2020 14:49:58 GMT
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Well there needs to be some form of fun here in my opinion at the moment a few threads getting a bit tetchy.....so I thought I’d share some things that have happened to me and a few work colleagues over the years involving cars, high jinks that maybe frowned upon a bit these days ! Anyhow back in the late 80s I worked for tyre services Great Britain in my hometown of Bexleyheath A few incidences make me laugh now when I tell them to mates and my family One day we had a mk1 Granada come in for a new exhaust, remember an exhaust lasted roughly a year back then! Man leaves said very Ropey looking Granada with us and goes off shopping Now I’d never heard of an inhibitor switch back then 17 years old and no interest In automatics Most people will tell by now where this is headed right? The man has neglected to tell us the switch was faulty And the car sometimes took off in park! I was under the car with an experienced fitter whilst a colleague was up on the ramp ready to start her up to test for any blows on the newly fitted system The start up happened car gets revved up And then lurches off the ramp ....I run outside as does college Paul , the car goes through the workshop wall and ends up hanging into the garden next door!! I was absolutely horrified and shaking like a leave The fella inside the car was white as a sheet! The owner came back and actually apologised for not telling us about the switch I believe tyre services insurers paid for it if I’m correct Not the actual car but the same model Also whilst working there a commer pb van comes in for new tyres, me being young and naive hadn’t noticed everyone had disappeared So I start to jack up said van...again some will know where this is going! The wheels sit Inboard on these old vans I’d used a trolley jack had it up and couldn’t get the wheels out from the arches I was getting annoyed and cursing and still none the wiser as to how I was going to tackle it When I heard a lot of laughing and mocking from behind the workshop door.....lesson learned quickly on that one , I still laugh if I see or hear talk of commer pb vans Moving on a few years I worked at a Subaru dealers ...long before the Impreza came out! I worked with a pal from school who got the job as a parts manager there, but basically all we did for about a year was generally fool about causing mayhem During the summer one of the company directors Sent his son who was off to university to work with us for a few weeks The lad was cocky as hell and told us his dad was our boss and he could basically do what he liked ....the lad might have had brains but he had no common sense, so we set about making him suffer a bit The last prank we played ultimately saw my pal sacked and me leave a few weeks later before I was fired We had a rotten mk2 escort estate come in px And as we were told to get rid of all the cardboard around the place we did just that We filled the the estate full of cardboard and on the roof up to about three feet tall And tied it on with string I might add it was rammed full inside with just enough room to see through that screen! Said lad complains but we insisted it had to be driven to the tip some four miles away Unfortunately for us he got about a mile away and our boss was coming the other way and stopped him and made him drive back to the garage We rolled about laughing our boss saw the funny said....but daddy did not when he went home that evening, my pal was dismissed the next day! I lasted a few weeks but the writing was on the wall!! Again not the actual car but the same model I was also on the receiving end Just weeks after I passed my test my escort wasn’t finished so I was driving my sisters yellow hc viva.....I worked at a rundown body shop then , right next to a railway, I had plenty to say for myself back then and my work colleagues decided I’d pay for be gobby I left work one dark evening jumped in the viva and roared off about a 100 yards from the gates , I felt something fall into my lap I looked down and under the streetlight saw a dead rat sitting on my lap! I jumped straight out and heard the laughter and jeers form said colleagues ...lesson learned! Viva exactly the same as my sisters ...which I later blew the engine up! Anyone else got any car related work tales?
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Last Edit: Aug 19, 2020 15:18:06 GMT by Mercdan68
Fraud owners club member 1999 Jaguar s type 1993 ford escort
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Aug 19, 2020 15:56:19 GMT
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Too many! I remember organising "parking competitions" outside Comet branches, we'd all reverse in as close as possible to each other (...i can't remember why, so don't ask) I seem to remember getting 6 cars in 7 spaces, something like that? That all stopped when one guy (who had parked first) was boxed in by the hedge on one side and about ten cars the other got a call from his pregnant wife that she was going into labour, we had to shut the shop to get us all out so he could go to the hospital!
One of the young lads passed his test and rolled his car two or three days later, so we looked up his details and sent him catalogues from Rollcentre and Safety Devices.
I never got involved with the "wrapping someone's car with pallet wrap" jokes due to the damage caused to the paint, but I remember my manager's new company car being delivered while he was on holiday. While it was in the warehouse I emptied every hole punch into the dash vents, put the fan on full (after switching the car off, of course) and waited for him to turn the key when he came back! He was genuinely furious, but saw the funny side when I'd hoovered every single bloody one of them up!
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Aug 19, 2020 16:25:24 GMT
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Ive got a few but one that sprung to mind was when I worked at a main dealers. We stored cars at a local farm, and the private road heading to the field was nice smooth tarmac. Long straight bit, tight 90 degree right, long straight bit, tight 90 degree left, then repeat, and enter the field. On one occasion we were 5 up in a jeep and flying down this road. I was in the back behind the driver and on the first right hand bend the bloke in the middle leant on the bloke on the left (passenger side) I did nothing. Next corner they both leant on me. I had a headache so I winged and told them to f off. On the third corner the bloke in the middle leant across and grabbed the door handle to open the door (for lolz) I didnt realise this and leant right over the car and pushed as hard as i could. Before I realised it I was sitting in the middle of the car and the other chap was bouncing across the grass beside the road The bloke who pulled the handle was almost out of the car too, he didnt think I was going to do anything so just pulled the handle thinking the chap on the left would close it again, not fall out of the car!
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Aug 19, 2020 16:44:59 GMT
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At school not work; one of the sixth form fancied himself a practical joker, and was clingfilming toilets, unscrewing door hinges, balancing bins on doors and other japes. Four of us walked down the drive to where his Mini was parked between two trees, picked it up, turned it through 90degrees and put it down with about 0.2m between each end and a tree. Then we went home. That trained him out of most of the jokes.
I was first into work one day due to the overnight snowfall. When the boss arrived, he said "even if I didn't know that was your car, it's obvious that you parked it". I had a look out the window, and there were four parallel lines down the car park(a good 100m long) each ending at a wheel of my car that was parked at 45degrees to the building. The radiant red Cortina made for a cool image against the white snow...
We always had some sort of windup ready to launch against Kevin, but the best one happened after I got transferred to another branch. I rang my previous manager to scrounge some stock, and he was in a bit of hurry to rearrange the car park. When I suggested that was a bit odd, he explained that a week earlier Kev had complained about where one of the storemen's car was parked. "quick as a flash, I said that blue cars have to be parked there, as it's the only place that doesn't upset the Feng Shui! I've had the skip moved several times, rearranged the stack of building materials, and even had to buy a book so it sounds like I know what I'm talking about. Kevin is going mental every time we change something......."
There was the time he left his new car in the carpark to save on airport parking when he was on holiday. It took us ages to think of something irritating, but harmless. That turned out to be filling the CD changer(which he could barely use) random 10pence CDs bought from a boot fair. Apparently the conversation on the way home went something like this:
Shall we have some music? That would be nice 'click' lalalalala "Hello I'm Felicity Kendal and these are some of my favourite classical tunes"
WTF?? 'click' "I love sausage rolls" 'click'
etc 'click' Songbird
I'm going to kill them
He was even more curse word off when we told him that we had a tenth CD, but the Kenny G one already in the player was worse.
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Aug 19, 2020 19:38:05 GMT
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I used to travel quite a bit and, at the time, our office had no pool cars so we kept Avis quite busy. On one occasion, they brought me a brand new Rover 200. The car had only just been launched so I was keen to take it for a spin. Unfortunately, they dropped it on next door's drive and shoved the keys through their letterbox. As they were at work I called Avis and they rustled up a MkVI Escort. This spent one night on my drive but this was enough for someone to nick the wheels from it. I went to work and arranged recovery of what was left of it. Got home from work and the bloke across the road (who was a total ) came out to complain that they had used bricks from his rockery and he wasn't happy about it.
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Jaguar S-Type 3.0 SE
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Aug 19, 2020 20:48:07 GMT
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I & my Brother worked at a huge NCB transport depot, from 1981, 40 fitters in the garage alone, plus electricians, body men, joiners etc etc. 600 blokes worked there in total (plus 6 canteen lady’s) so you can imagine, frivolity was the order of the day (in fact every day, it was the NCB after all & we all know what that was reckoned to stand for 😉) Too many to list, but wiring horns to brake light switches was a guaranteed wheeze, tiny piece of paper between the points another. One of the fitters went out on a breakdown to a pit, whilst gone two of the body men took his old mini from the car park & painted it a different colour in the paint shop, then parked it back up. Removing all 4 wheels off a fitters car, placing a flat washer on one stud then re-fitting them, has a pretty hilarious outcome, as said fitter tries to drive out of the yard. Jacking up a rear wheel drive, placing a ‘chock nog’ under the axle, then letting it down so the tyre is just about, but not quite touching the deck. The Commer van mentioned earlier by the OP, we had loads of them. Rear wheel drive, but front axle handbrake, most excellent for destroying a perfectly good pair of rear tyres in burnout competitions, especially with a liberal splash of brake fluid under them, to get em’ going. One particular one I remember (because my Brother did it) was a guy doing a clutch on a Leyland Bison. He put all the new clutch in, tightened the cover, then went to the canteen for dinner break. Whilst gone, my Brother removed the cover, took out the centre plate, wrapped it all back up & put it in the box, then re-fitted the cover. Guy came back after dinner, slid the box up on the tranny jack, where he’d left it & obviously gave it a push & a turn on the prop flange & in it went (well it would, wouldn’t it) tighted all the bell housing bolts, fitted the prop, was only when he came to press the clutch pedal, something was a miss.... ooops.
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Last Edit: Aug 19, 2020 20:50:28 GMT by rattlecan
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Aug 19, 2020 21:32:37 GMT
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Part of my current job involves supporting young lads on work experience in a garage-like situation, so stripey paint, glass hammer, long weight/wait, sparks for the grinder etc have all been seen recently, all still working despite being prehistoric.
Another one I get them with when I roll up to work is I say "look what I've done to the front of my car" and then blast the horn when they go and look at it. I do it to the staff as well, neighbours must love us
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stealthstylz
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,829
Club RR Member Number: 174
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Work and car tales!stealthstylz
@stealthstylz
Club Retro Rides Member 174
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Aug 19, 2020 22:33:27 GMT
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Mine are all stupid customer stories. Repaired a Peugeot TU3 that had dropped a valve recently (my colleague repaired head and I refitted basically). Sent it out, came back in a week later because "its mixing oil and water". Stripped it, obviously been severely overheated so customer paid us again to repair it (head skimmed, block skimmed, re-ringed etc) and sent it out again and told to check cooling system. Week later it's back again because "it's mixing oil and water". Stripped it, been cooked again. Repaired it same as before at cost to customer again. Sent it out but got another mechanic to check it before starting. Customer was fitting the engine, filling the header tank with water then going straight on the test drive. "The temp gauge didn't say it was overheating" errr....that's because there's no water in the engine for it to read from.
Also a customer who wouldn't pay for DMF to replace the utterly bolloxed one on his Insignia 2.0D that I'd just rebuilt because it had spun the mains. We said there we wouldn't test drive it as it was that bad. He dropped the clutch to pull out onto the road when collecting and there was a big bang and it cut out. Took the engine back out and it had snapped the crank in half.
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Aug 19, 2020 23:47:24 GMT
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I was at uni and did some maintenance work at a respite center during the holidays. This respite center was for people with physical handicaps. I connected really well with a severe spastic bloke named Bram. During brakes I would jump in and help him and others eating their lunch. He was a very funny guy. His spasms would increase heaps when he was exited about things are had a good laugh. 1 day I was asked to buy some paint at the other side of town. Bram asked if he could come. Normally he would ride his electric wheelchair in the back of the van I would secure it and of we would go. But this time he asked if he could sit in the front. I got permission and with the help of others we got him out of his wheelchair into the front seat. This was quite exiting so I was not able to drive of yet as his spasm were so severe he hit me in the face. Anyway, we left, did our thing and on the (long) way back I saw 2 ducks near the shoulder of the highway we were driving on. I just said to myself, please do not fly of.....of course they did and I ended up with 2 ducks smashing into the front screen. Blood, feathers, duck meat, etc all over the front of the van. Bram's spams where of the scale and he again whacked me full on in the face. His movements were so severe that I was about to lose control of the van. I had to pull over and give him a rest for a minute. This all happened well before mobile phones and when we got back the news traveled fast. I had in no time wheels chair users blocking the car park to check the van. For days I was asked what I wanted for lunch....Peking Duck or Duck Orange....etc
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Way back when I used to pit crew, a 'gentleman driver' we also prepped a car for came back from a race complaining that his neck was causing him a lot of discomfort. He always wore an open face helmet and we quickly realised he just done 15 laps of Silverstone in a Porsche 930 Turbo with his helmet on back to front.
Easy mistake to make....although his helmet did have his name written across the front and a small visor.
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A couple from the mists of time in my "yoof" during a period of employment at halfrauds. I was a shop floor dept manager but would always try and skive into the garage to see what was going on. Occasionally i would get to escape for half an hour or so on an errand and one day i was sent out in a mk2 astra , a car which i don't think anyone really knew where it was from , either customer or company , either way it became a hack. Despite being fairly new at the time it had been to the moon and back but went like an absolute stabbed rat , easily winding off the clock (on a private road hossifer). Those pesky tech's had me convinced for ages that it was only a 1300...till they eventually admitted it was a 1600. Still impressed how well it flew though!
One day a rather prim looking middle aged lady came in , sent by hubby with a list , looking for a clutch plate/cover/thrust bearing for her nissan micra. "Certainly madam" says i , "you need a 3 in 1 crutch clit". I'm sure my bright red face must have clashed with those god damned awful grey overalls.... but fortunately i think she was a little deaf!!
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'80 s1 924 turbo..hibernating '80 golf gli cabriolet...doing impression of a skip '97 pug 106 commuter...continuing cheapness making me smile!
firm believer in the k.i.s.s and f.i.s.h principles.
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Aug 21, 2020 21:29:08 GMT
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We sent our admin lady in to Halfords for spark plugs for her diesel Sierra, and knowing she was a tad feisty we primed her with stories about garages fobbing women off and scamming them, so when the parts guy said very gently "I think someone is having you on, I'm very sorry" she absolutely let rip! One of our lads had followed her up to Halfords, and he said he could hear her screaming at the poor sod from two shops down.
Apologies to Halfords parts guy! Just remember, it's impossible have a victim-less joke!!!
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Ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 765
Club RR Member Number: 12
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Work and car tales!Ritchie
@ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member 12
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A bit rubbish but I remember once that the apprentice was sent out to the shop to get rolls as usual and I asked him to grab me a fuse. 20mins later he called me from the local factors asking what amperage I wanted. No, you tool I said... A chocolate one!
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A bit rubbish but I remember once that the apprentice was sent out to the shop to get rolls as usual and I asked him to grab me a fuse. 20mins later he called me from the local factors asking what amperage I wanted. No, you tool I said... A chocolate one! Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic
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A bit rubbish but I remember once that the apprentice was sent out to the shop to get rolls as usual and I asked him to grab me a fuse. 20mins later he called me from the local factors asking what amperage I wanted. No, you tool I said... A chocolate one! Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic I don't remember those either, which is strange for the same reason. Not many people remember these either Unfortunatly I have no work tales that id like to keep a secret. Honest.
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Ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 765
Club RR Member Number: 12
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Work and car tales!Ritchie
@ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member 12
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A bit rubbish but I remember once that the apprentice was sent out to the shop to get rolls as usual and I asked him to grab me a fuse. 20mins later he called me from the local factors asking what amperage I wanted. No, you tool I said... A chocolate one! Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic According to Wiki, they were released in 1996 and discontinued in 2006. "Forty million Fuse bars were sold in the first week of release.The brand was discontinued in 2006." That's a lot of chocolate!
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Ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 765
Club RR Member Number: 12
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Work and car tales!Ritchie
@ritchie
Club Retro Rides Member 12
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Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic I don't remember those either, which is strange for the same reason. Not many people remember these either Unfortunatly I have no work tales that id like to keep a secret. Honest. I do!, they were great, anyway need to get back on Topic. (see what I did there )
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Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic According to Wiki, they were released in 1996 and discontinued in 2006. "Forty million Fuse bars were sold in the first week of release.The brand was discontinued in 2006." That's a lot of chocolate! There wasn't much chocolate in a Fuse!
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Can’t remember them at all, which is odd, as I am a known chocoholic I don't remember those either, which is strange for the same reason. Not many people remember these either Unfortunatly I have no work tales that id like to keep a secret. Honest. I have literally a thread-full of stories I'd like to keep secret, let's not go there!!!
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Work and car tales!Mercdan68
@forddan68
Club Retro Rides Member 68
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Aah yes I once got sent to the bakers at my first job for Strawberry muffdives.......yes I did ask too
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Fraud owners club member 1999 Jaguar s type 1993 ford escort
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