Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and those who identify as whatever the hell they want, I present to you today for your delectation my 1998 Toyota Corolla, in a rather fetching shade of crayoned white.
Due to theimpeccable success of the recently requisitioned total money pit that is my Toyota RAV4, "Paddy" as he's known to his owner sits on a driveway in deepest darkest Birmingham. Not quite surplus to requirements, but definitely not being used due to various factors. Most of them relating to the wife, but some relating to not being able to run two cars at the same time right now.
Instead of focusing on the good bits, I'm going to be blunt and tell you right here, right now, what's wrong with this car.
Bad Points:
There's a squeal from the auxiliary belt on start up when cold, but given the noise I suffer from my neighbour's it acted as a little reminder to them that "yes, you do have neighbours too dickhead".
There is an odd knock from the front of the car. I've had it checked by two separate people, both of which ruled out suspension components (as they're all near enough new). I've bought tie rod ends and ball joints for the front (included) but it doesn't affect the steering. I think the cheap front engine mount is the culprit, although it's been given a cursory glance to make sure it's not falling apart (it isn't) I'm a bit stuck as to what could be causing it.
It also has a straight through exhaust pipe to a rather fetching stainless steel back box, which has resulted in a surprisingly sprightly performance upgrade. Essentially the middle box (given the nature of this 3rd party bullshine chancers and their exhausts) was catching and I nearly ripped it off on the way to work one day. So off it came, and a straight through pipe was put in it's place. Ground clearance has been greatly improved, even though strict car botherers of the Church of Present Day MOT Testers take a dim view on such a thing. You may not get to heaven if you don't pass Go and collect £200 blah blah. You may want to get this changed, you may not. It's up to you and how you approach your friendly MOT tester.
While every effort has been taken to stop my beautiful Paddy from sweating horsepower, it still retains a leak from the gearbox drive shaft seal. It's a brand new seal, I done gone buggered up by pinching it on the replacement of the driveshaft. I'm sorry about that.
Paint work is what lets this car down. It's dull as hell, has a texture to it (i.e. feels rough), and I've made every attempt to fix and sort bits of rust at their first appearance. From a distance, it looks alright. When you get near it though you can see the paint changes in the light and the angle you view it in terms of dull patches and shiney/newly spray painted parts. Look at the signs of overspray (which I apologise for) as a sign from the great man himself that this has had an attempt at a driveway paint job, and was done to stop that nasty rust from having a slap up dinner with it. The sides, more over, the doors, haven't been touched. They too provide evidence of door trims that used to be there, but I took them off. And I threw them away. I trust those getting in and out of the car to not be children and respect bollards, walls, and less so VW's and Audi's, when opening the door in the car park.
Some insurers will list this as a G6 - IT IS NOT A G6. I don't know why they do it but they do. This is poverty spec with keep fit windows and no air con. It's the closest you'll get to the experience of a Turkish gym without the fees.
Good Points:
My friend if you've gotten to this point then you are truly a top person of such choddery, and you should treat yourself to such distinction by purchasing this fine motor vehicle. But before you do, I should sweeten the sweet deal with a big dose of textual glucose.
The TL;DR of this is that I've spent way more than £500 on this. It's essentially a brand new car under neath.
Miles: 117,000 miles - genuine
MOT: December 2020
The long version (in order of work done): - All parts are genuine Mr.Toyota too (unless otherwise stated) - his accountant was well pleased
- Brand new timing belt done 10,000 miles ago. A Gates one no less.
- Brand new VSS on the gearbox, as well as a replacement speedometer cable
- Brand new gearbox driveshaft seals - although one is weeping again - my fault
- Brand new output shaft seal on the engine - the side where the gearbox joins up to the engine
- Brand new Blue Print clutch kit
- Brand new seal on the oil sump
- Engine flush done 2,000 miles ago at service
- 4x Denso spark plugs
- Fresh oil for a fresh oil change, obviously
- Blue Print oil filter
- New crappy eBay Febi front engine mount - trust me the standard one was holier than Pope Francis himself on a Sunday morning after a saturday night on the communion wine
- Aftermarket catalytic convertor
- Bosch oxygen sensor (only one of these, goes behind the convertor)
- Straight through mild steel pipe
- Rear stainless steel back box
- Brand new CV gaters, both inner and outer, on both driveshafts
- 2x KYB Excel G shock absorbers on the front.
- 2x KYB Excel G shock absorbers on the rear.
- Complete* front polybush suspension bushings
- STARKK/AutoDoc special brake pads on the front
- STARKK/AutoDoc special discs on the front
- 2x BluePrint brake hoses on the front
- JapanParts standard rubber bushings on the rear suspension points - with the exception of the rear swing arms that are polybushes, as I couldn't find the standard - rubber bushes to fit
- Two new suspension arms on the rear, again Febi from eBay jobby
- 2x BluePrint (I think) brake hoses on the rear
- 4x Falken AllSeason tyres, 2,000 miles on these I think. Got them about a month before lock down kicked in March 2020.
- Deleted rear window wiper, but the wiper motor is in the car. I'm not an idiot.
- Dashcam installed, wired to turn on when the car is turned on. Not when you're turned on though. Sorry.
That's not all! I do have two front ball joints and two front tie rods to go on this fine passion wagon. Not fitted at the moment, I may fit them depending on how the sale goes. If you buy it today then you won't have them fitted though. It will also come with:
- Bluetooh JVC head unit - the harness to go from the head unit to the ISO harness is missing. Sorry about that!
- New HT leads from AutoDoc.
- "WARNING: Driver is in charge of the music. Passengers should shut their cake hole" sticker on passenger side, to remind your passenger that 3rd class driving is better than 1st class walking and you will not tolerate Crapital or Greatest curse word Radio in your vehicle.
- Black sun strip which makes such a difference when the sun is in the sky.
- Bosch Aero wipers - don't be an idiot. You need to see where you're going PROPERLY like modern cars.
- 4x Hammerite self-painted Corolla E12 alloys complete with TTE/speedline/Toyota crest stickers on them. There's a slight buckle in two of them, although no discernable difference is made to the handling of the vehicle. Should be a bad point really, but some people like a bumpy ride. Hence why marriage is popular.
- Front and back colour coded bumpers, done by yours truly, and you can see the refurbishment of the rear one on YouTube.
- A can or two of Toyota 040, which is the colour of this car.
- 2x boot gas struts, as it will need it if you reinstate the rear wiper motor. Ask the bump on my head how I know.
- New tie-rod ends, and front ball joints in the box to be fitted - as I didn't feel the need to fit them where I had the whole suspension apart.
What's in it for me?
This is the genuinely sad point of the advert. I absolutely love this car. I learnt a lot with it, and I've enjoyed many an adventure in it. I've driven it to the west coast of Ireland, and all the way to Berlin. Not at the same time, but still. It'll do 124mph indicated on the autobahn by the way!
It's been for sale for a while on the beige forum, with no interest. The paint lets it down really, but I was intending to machine polish it which I think would make the world of difference to it. But having spent the last 6 months welding my RAV4 and a first born on the way, it's going to have to go to (at the very least) buy an extortionately priced child seat demanded by said wife.
Thanks again, if you've got any questions then let me know!
EDIT (10/06/21): So the car is held at my mom's, and she's had one dodgy as hell bloke knock on asking about the car. She's getting paranoid now that it'll be nicked (I doubt it will tbh), I love my mom more than this car, so the price is reduced to £350 as that's what Car Take Back have quoted. Come at me with £350 and it's yours, but if I don't I'm not going to be able to keep the car past Sunday (13/06/21) I'm afraid!
Due to the
Instead of focusing on the good bits, I'm going to be blunt and tell you right here, right now, what's wrong with this car.
Bad Points:
There's a squeal from the auxiliary belt on start up when cold, but given the noise I suffer from my neighbour's it acted as a little reminder to them that "yes, you do have neighbours too dickhead".
There is an odd knock from the front of the car. I've had it checked by two separate people, both of which ruled out suspension components (as they're all near enough new). I've bought tie rod ends and ball joints for the front (included) but it doesn't affect the steering. I think the cheap front engine mount is the culprit, although it's been given a cursory glance to make sure it's not falling apart (it isn't) I'm a bit stuck as to what could be causing it.
It also has a straight through exhaust pipe to a rather fetching stainless steel back box, which has resulted in a surprisingly sprightly performance upgrade. Essentially the middle box (given the nature of this 3rd party bullshine chancers and their exhausts) was catching and I nearly ripped it off on the way to work one day. So off it came, and a straight through pipe was put in it's place. Ground clearance has been greatly improved, even though strict car botherers of the Church of Present Day MOT Testers take a dim view on such a thing. You may not get to heaven if you don't pass Go and collect £200 blah blah. You may want to get this changed, you may not. It's up to you and how you approach your friendly MOT tester.
While every effort has been taken to stop my beautiful Paddy from sweating horsepower, it still retains a leak from the gearbox drive shaft seal. It's a brand new seal, I done gone buggered up by pinching it on the replacement of the driveshaft. I'm sorry about that.
Paint work is what lets this car down. It's dull as hell, has a texture to it (i.e. feels rough), and I've made every attempt to fix and sort bits of rust at their first appearance. From a distance, it looks alright. When you get near it though you can see the paint changes in the light and the angle you view it in terms of dull patches and shiney/newly spray painted parts. Look at the signs of overspray (which I apologise for) as a sign from the great man himself that this has had an attempt at a driveway paint job, and was done to stop that nasty rust from having a slap up dinner with it. The sides, more over, the doors, haven't been touched. They too provide evidence of door trims that used to be there, but I took them off. And I threw them away. I trust those getting in and out of the car to not be children and respect bollards, walls, and less so VW's and Audi's, when opening the door in the car park.
Some insurers will list this as a G6 - IT IS NOT A G6. I don't know why they do it but they do. This is poverty spec with keep fit windows and no air con. It's the closest you'll get to the experience of a Turkish gym without the fees.
Good Points:
My friend if you've gotten to this point then you are truly a top person of such choddery, and you should treat yourself to such distinction by purchasing this fine motor vehicle. But before you do, I should sweeten the sweet deal with a big dose of textual glucose.
The TL;DR of this is that I've spent way more than £500 on this. It's essentially a brand new car under neath.
Miles: 117,000 miles - genuine
MOT: December 2020
The long version (in order of work done): - All parts are genuine Mr.Toyota too (unless otherwise stated) - his accountant was well pleased
- Brand new timing belt done 10,000 miles ago. A Gates one no less.
- Brand new VSS on the gearbox, as well as a replacement speedometer cable
- Brand new gearbox driveshaft seals - although one is weeping again - my fault
- Brand new output shaft seal on the engine - the side where the gearbox joins up to the engine
- Brand new Blue Print clutch kit
- Brand new seal on the oil sump
- Engine flush done 2,000 miles ago at service
- 4x Denso spark plugs
- Fresh oil for a fresh oil change, obviously
- Blue Print oil filter
- New crappy eBay Febi front engine mount - trust me the standard one was holier than Pope Francis himself on a Sunday morning after a saturday night on the communion wine
- Aftermarket catalytic convertor
- Bosch oxygen sensor (only one of these, goes behind the convertor)
- Straight through mild steel pipe
- Rear stainless steel back box
- Brand new CV gaters, both inner and outer, on both driveshafts
- 2x KYB Excel G shock absorbers on the front.
- 2x KYB Excel G shock absorbers on the rear.
- Complete* front polybush suspension bushings
- STARKK/AutoDoc special brake pads on the front
- STARKK/AutoDoc special discs on the front
- 2x BluePrint brake hoses on the front
- JapanParts standard rubber bushings on the rear suspension points - with the exception of the rear swing arms that are polybushes, as I couldn't find the standard - rubber bushes to fit
- Two new suspension arms on the rear, again Febi from eBay jobby
- 2x BluePrint (I think) brake hoses on the rear
- 4x Falken AllSeason tyres, 2,000 miles on these I think. Got them about a month before lock down kicked in March 2020.
- Deleted rear window wiper, but the wiper motor is in the car. I'm not an idiot.
- Dashcam installed, wired to turn on when the car is turned on. Not when you're turned on though. Sorry.
That's not all! I do have two front ball joints and two front tie rods to go on this fine passion wagon. Not fitted at the moment, I may fit them depending on how the sale goes. If you buy it today then you won't have them fitted though. It will also come with:
- Bluetooh JVC head unit - the harness to go from the head unit to the ISO harness is missing. Sorry about that!
- New HT leads from AutoDoc.
- "WARNING: Driver is in charge of the music. Passengers should shut their cake hole" sticker on passenger side, to remind your passenger that 3rd class driving is better than 1st class walking and you will not tolerate Crapital or Greatest curse word Radio in your vehicle.
- Black sun strip which makes such a difference when the sun is in the sky.
- Bosch Aero wipers - don't be an idiot. You need to see where you're going PROPERLY like modern cars.
- 4x Hammerite self-painted Corolla E12 alloys complete with TTE/speedline/Toyota crest stickers on them. There's a slight buckle in two of them, although no discernable difference is made to the handling of the vehicle. Should be a bad point really, but some people like a bumpy ride. Hence why marriage is popular.
- Front and back colour coded bumpers, done by yours truly, and you can see the refurbishment of the rear one on YouTube.
- A can or two of Toyota 040, which is the colour of this car.
- 2x boot gas struts, as it will need it if you reinstate the rear wiper motor. Ask the bump on my head how I know.
- New tie-rod ends, and front ball joints in the box to be fitted - as I didn't feel the need to fit them where I had the whole suspension apart.
What's in it for me?
This is the genuinely sad point of the advert. I absolutely love this car. I learnt a lot with it, and I've enjoyed many an adventure in it. I've driven it to the west coast of Ireland, and all the way to Berlin. Not at the same time, but still. It'll do 124mph indicated on the autobahn by the way!
It's been for sale for a while on the beige forum, with no interest. The paint lets it down really, but I was intending to machine polish it which I think would make the world of difference to it. But having spent the last 6 months welding my RAV4 and a first born on the way, it's going to have to go to (at the very least) buy an extortionately priced child seat demanded by said wife.
Thanks again, if you've got any questions then let me know!
EDIT (10/06/21): So the car is held at my mom's, and she's had one dodgy as hell bloke knock on asking about the car. She's getting paranoid now that it'll be nicked (I doubt it will tbh), I love my mom more than this car, so the price is reduced to £350 as that's what Car Take Back have quoted. Come at me with £350 and it's yours, but if I don't I'm not going to be able to keep the car past Sunday (13/06/21) I'm afraid!
