Welcome along, one and all, to another of my flaccid photostory threads where I try and beat you into submission with endless drivel and use smoke and mirrors to pretend there are actually some photos worth looking at in here.
Or is that a double bluff?
Haha, you'll have to read the entire thing now, just in case...
So, it was time for me and th'boy Rich/Phil to make our pilgrimage down to the New Forest to look at whole fields full of automotive remnants we could neither afford, need, nor even in some cases, identify. Yep, it was time for the autumn International Autojumble at Beaulieu. Which is a lot easier to say than it is to spell. Unless you're American and insist on pronouncing every last bit of a word, in which case you'd be bemused to say the least trying to locate "Beeahooleeoo". (There's a story on the railway about the American who was trying to find the correct train for Loo-gah-bor-roo-gah. Turns out he wanted Loughborough. Well, someone has to. It's almost certainly an apocryphal urban legend, but one you'd just love to be true).
Jokes and casual borderline racism aside, this is truly an international event, took us completely by surprise first time out. I'd always assumed that was just bigging it up a bit, but in actual fact the car parks are full of Euro-plated cars from everywhere you can imagine (and some you can't) and you overhear more conversations in French, German, Dutch, etc... than you do in English.
Anyway, undeterred by the appalling British weather, we piled into Safka the FB and blatted down the coast to the depths of ol' King Bill the First's private wood. Whilst not exactly a show as such, it's well worth a look in. The event incorporates all sorts of things; there's a For Sale paddock where punters can enter their car and try to leave the place without it clutching a handful of Euros instead; there's a Bonhams auction of exotica for the great and good (not the likes of us, evidently); there's a paddock for used cars businesses to sell their wares (and we're not talking Arfer Daley types here, these are coachbuilt Rollers and the like); and finally, the immense and sprawling cornucopia of all things used and grubby that is the jumble itself. Plus you get free access to the museum itself as well!
phew! Plenty to get on with. We didn't get close to getting round it all last year, so arrived a lot earlier this year in the hope of greater success. Guess what? We didn't get round it all again, but at least arriving early meant we weren't queuing for as long to get in. It seems a lot of real enthusiasts will stay in local B&Bs or hotels for the full weekend, and really to get round the whole thing you would need the two days.
So without further ado, shall we plunge into the melee of the sales paddock? There's no rhyme or reason here, so if these pics seem eclectic then that's a pretty accurate representation of how it actually is. However, I didn't indiscriminately photograph everything there, so the ones that have made it through I guess represent my own taste or peculiarities to some extent. As those who've read my threads in the past will know, I have a deep-seated Americana perversion so it was no hardship that one of the first cars we came to was
This lovely 2nd-gen Corvette (depending on how you delineate 'Vette generations; we've had this argument before, let's not go there. It's second gen cos it has twin headlights rather than the original singles. So there)
The weather was fair when we arrived, but the forecast was for heavy showers all day, and the cars were showing in either immaculate shine or rain-blown droplets depending on how conscientious the owners were with the chamois. Suits me either way, to be honest...
We've talked before about the number of Ventiports relating to the prestige level of the car with Buicks. This has three, so it's the Super, one down from top-of-the-range
The big ol' Buick illustrated the futility of trying to keep the cars clean and shiny on a day like this. By the time we'd gone half-way across the paddock the heavens had opened again and it was back to Square One for the long-suffering vendor
Such a cool car, even on a grey dreary day you just segue seamlessly onto the streets of American Graffiti!
Thunderbird is a bit late to be one of the coolest ones, but definitely much preferable to the wretched abominations that have worn the badge recently!
Another car that ought to be California cruisin top-down, not shuddering under English autumn rain
Thirteen and n'arf grand Isetta BMW bubble car could have fitted in the T-bird's trunk! Just as well value is not directly proportional to size
...or reliability for that matter. I know it's a cliche, but even the badge has malfunctioned...
Old Cyclops Rover
Never get tired of photographing Tuscans, marvellous things. There was one of these on the excellent TVROC stand at Wings and Wheels and I took the opportunity to explain to the wife how TVRs are so close to being the ultimate penis extension that the designers even moulded one into the curves of the bonnet. It's like one of those magic eye pictures, or a colour blindness test... keep looking... keep looking... turn your gaze just so... and suddenly BOOM! moment of clarity... Car bonnet turns into male member. Amazing trick. She giggled like a schoolkid for ages about that one (maybe that says more about how puerile and childish we are than anything). Be careful though, it's like taking the wrong colour pill in the Matrix, you can't ever go back. Once you see the Giant TVR Penod Bonnet, you can never un-see it
Mini was drawing some attention, since it was stripped-out and powered by a Honda VFR 800 VTEC engine in the back. All very nice, and cool engineering, but I found the VFR evolution engine extremely underwhelming when it was in a VFR to be honest. I imagine even in as light a car as a Mini it barely has enough gumption to get out of its own way. Shame. Now, a turbo Hayabusa, now you're talking...
Period-perfect early XJS in Seventies Baby-sick Yellow was a thing of beauty. I had sooooooo much want for these back in the day, and still do now
Always got time for the absolute excess of a Caddy coupe
Think this one's a Series '61 Coupe de Ville from 1950
That single-spoked wheel like a vinyl and chrome tongue poking out of the console licking the deeply ribbed (for pleasure) rim; those clocks that are like a multiplayer game of Tempest; the zany zig-zag of the heater controls where mere letters and numbers are too mundane and passé to communicate thermal zones to the discerning gentleman motorist... can only be one car...
Did you guess, lol?
The last true triumph for Art Deco, and the most wonderful thing ever to come out of France since oven-baked Camembert with crusty bread. Let it never be said I'm partisan against French cars again, lol. Those green globes of hydro-ride glory, ooooh. Longest and most delicate intake snorkel evaarr?
Why does it keep its radiator in a weird grey rubbery bag though? Odd, even by Citroën standards! I like how you can partially zip it open to let some air out or to insert your boil-in-the-bag supper Top Gear stylee
While we're on Gallic charm, here's another big Citroën I had a lot of love for on the day:
Never thought I'd be fancying an H-Van with opening rear hatches, but how cool a burger wagon or ice cream van would this make? The vendor obviously had a GSOH, judging by the "Very Expensive" label in the window
Never heard of Kougar cars before. Despite their evidently hopeless dyslexia, I didn't find much on the internetz either, although I freely admit my Google-fu is weak. Evidently some kind of Jag-based special/kit car thing, it looks more like it's Allard-inspired to me. In a good way
This jolly green giant blew my skirt up rather
Not just because of the Art Deco, Faberge nostalgic beauty of its dash (weird steering wheel is like a prop from Hellraiser disturbed before it had a chance to finish growing its layer of skin, mind you)
Just look at it! Majestic!
It is, of course, a 1946 Hudson Super Six and even on such a grey day its resprayed green brought the place a lush forest light. Yours for only ÂŁ250 more than the bubblecar, too. Like, who knew!
If it wasn't for the grille I'd prefer the looks of the A to the ruler-straight MGB all day long. But as it is... not so much
It was around this point the black clouds that had been threatening on the horizon boiled up properly and it back to rain again. Rich/Phil started mewling about not having a coat (why would you, after all, this is England) and disappeared. I manfully soldiered on for a bit, though as you can see the darkness under the clouds was affecting the photos rather. If not in terms of quality, in terms of cheerfulness!
Or is that a double bluff?
Haha, you'll have to read the entire thing now, just in case...
So, it was time for me and th'boy Rich/Phil to make our pilgrimage down to the New Forest to look at whole fields full of automotive remnants we could neither afford, need, nor even in some cases, identify. Yep, it was time for the autumn International Autojumble at Beaulieu. Which is a lot easier to say than it is to spell. Unless you're American and insist on pronouncing every last bit of a word, in which case you'd be bemused to say the least trying to locate "Beeahooleeoo". (There's a story on the railway about the American who was trying to find the correct train for Loo-gah-bor-roo-gah. Turns out he wanted Loughborough. Well, someone has to. It's almost certainly an apocryphal urban legend, but one you'd just love to be true).
Jokes and casual borderline racism aside, this is truly an international event, took us completely by surprise first time out. I'd always assumed that was just bigging it up a bit, but in actual fact the car parks are full of Euro-plated cars from everywhere you can imagine (and some you can't) and you overhear more conversations in French, German, Dutch, etc... than you do in English.
Anyway, undeterred by the appalling British weather, we piled into Safka the FB and blatted down the coast to the depths of ol' King Bill the First's private wood. Whilst not exactly a show as such, it's well worth a look in. The event incorporates all sorts of things; there's a For Sale paddock where punters can enter their car and try to leave the place without it clutching a handful of Euros instead; there's a Bonhams auction of exotica for the great and good (not the likes of us, evidently); there's a paddock for used cars businesses to sell their wares (and we're not talking Arfer Daley types here, these are coachbuilt Rollers and the like); and finally, the immense and sprawling cornucopia of all things used and grubby that is the jumble itself. Plus you get free access to the museum itself as well!
phew! Plenty to get on with. We didn't get close to getting round it all last year, so arrived a lot earlier this year in the hope of greater success. Guess what? We didn't get round it all again, but at least arriving early meant we weren't queuing for as long to get in. It seems a lot of real enthusiasts will stay in local B&Bs or hotels for the full weekend, and really to get round the whole thing you would need the two days.
So without further ado, shall we plunge into the melee of the sales paddock? There's no rhyme or reason here, so if these pics seem eclectic then that's a pretty accurate representation of how it actually is. However, I didn't indiscriminately photograph everything there, so the ones that have made it through I guess represent my own taste or peculiarities to some extent. As those who've read my threads in the past will know, I have a deep-seated Americana perversion so it was no hardship that one of the first cars we came to was
This lovely 2nd-gen Corvette (depending on how you delineate 'Vette generations; we've had this argument before, let's not go there. It's second gen cos it has twin headlights rather than the original singles. So there)
The weather was fair when we arrived, but the forecast was for heavy showers all day, and the cars were showing in either immaculate shine or rain-blown droplets depending on how conscientious the owners were with the chamois. Suits me either way, to be honest...
We've talked before about the number of Ventiports relating to the prestige level of the car with Buicks. This has three, so it's the Super, one down from top-of-the-range
The big ol' Buick illustrated the futility of trying to keep the cars clean and shiny on a day like this. By the time we'd gone half-way across the paddock the heavens had opened again and it was back to Square One for the long-suffering vendor
Such a cool car, even on a grey dreary day you just segue seamlessly onto the streets of American Graffiti!
Thunderbird is a bit late to be one of the coolest ones, but definitely much preferable to the wretched abominations that have worn the badge recently!
Another car that ought to be California cruisin top-down, not shuddering under English autumn rain
Thirteen and n'arf grand Isetta BMW bubble car could have fitted in the T-bird's trunk! Just as well value is not directly proportional to size
...or reliability for that matter. I know it's a cliche, but even the badge has malfunctioned...
Old Cyclops Rover
Never get tired of photographing Tuscans, marvellous things. There was one of these on the excellent TVROC stand at Wings and Wheels and I took the opportunity to explain to the wife how TVRs are so close to being the ultimate penis extension that the designers even moulded one into the curves of the bonnet. It's like one of those magic eye pictures, or a colour blindness test... keep looking... keep looking... turn your gaze just so... and suddenly BOOM! moment of clarity... Car bonnet turns into male member. Amazing trick. She giggled like a schoolkid for ages about that one (maybe that says more about how puerile and childish we are than anything). Be careful though, it's like taking the wrong colour pill in the Matrix, you can't ever go back. Once you see the Giant TVR Penod Bonnet, you can never un-see it
Mini was drawing some attention, since it was stripped-out and powered by a Honda VFR 800 VTEC engine in the back. All very nice, and cool engineering, but I found the VFR evolution engine extremely underwhelming when it was in a VFR to be honest. I imagine even in as light a car as a Mini it barely has enough gumption to get out of its own way. Shame. Now, a turbo Hayabusa, now you're talking...
Period-perfect early XJS in Seventies Baby-sick Yellow was a thing of beauty. I had sooooooo much want for these back in the day, and still do now
Always got time for the absolute excess of a Caddy coupe
Think this one's a Series '61 Coupe de Ville from 1950
That single-spoked wheel like a vinyl and chrome tongue poking out of the console licking the deeply ribbed (for pleasure) rim; those clocks that are like a multiplayer game of Tempest; the zany zig-zag of the heater controls where mere letters and numbers are too mundane and passé to communicate thermal zones to the discerning gentleman motorist... can only be one car...
Did you guess, lol?
The last true triumph for Art Deco, and the most wonderful thing ever to come out of France since oven-baked Camembert with crusty bread. Let it never be said I'm partisan against French cars again, lol. Those green globes of hydro-ride glory, ooooh. Longest and most delicate intake snorkel evaarr?
Why does it keep its radiator in a weird grey rubbery bag though? Odd, even by Citroën standards! I like how you can partially zip it open to let some air out or to insert your boil-in-the-bag supper Top Gear stylee
While we're on Gallic charm, here's another big Citroën I had a lot of love for on the day:
Never thought I'd be fancying an H-Van with opening rear hatches, but how cool a burger wagon or ice cream van would this make? The vendor obviously had a GSOH, judging by the "Very Expensive" label in the window
Never heard of Kougar cars before. Despite their evidently hopeless dyslexia, I didn't find much on the internetz either, although I freely admit my Google-fu is weak. Evidently some kind of Jag-based special/kit car thing, it looks more like it's Allard-inspired to me. In a good way
This jolly green giant blew my skirt up rather
Not just because of the Art Deco, Faberge nostalgic beauty of its dash (weird steering wheel is like a prop from Hellraiser disturbed before it had a chance to finish growing its layer of skin, mind you)
Just look at it! Majestic!
It is, of course, a 1946 Hudson Super Six and even on such a grey day its resprayed green brought the place a lush forest light. Yours for only ÂŁ250 more than the bubblecar, too. Like, who knew!
If it wasn't for the grille I'd prefer the looks of the A to the ruler-straight MGB all day long. But as it is... not so much
It was around this point the black clouds that had been threatening on the horizon boiled up properly and it back to rain again. Rich/Phil started mewling about not having a coat (why would you, after all, this is England) and disappeared. I manfully soldiered on for a bit, though as you can see the darkness under the clouds was affecting the photos rather. If not in terms of quality, in terms of cheerfulness!
Maybe he'll be more receptive to realistic offers, lol. One thing I was hoping to see was my favourite item of bric-a-brac from last year, but someone must have the same childish sense of humour that I do, cos I couldn't find it;
