A crisis of confidence! Should I grow up?

[retrolegends]

I have just been to start my Datsun as I do every two weeks at this time of year and with it being Leicestershire half term it took my 9 year old son and my 7 year old daughter on there bikes while I rode my 1980s Hawk Escort folding bike complete with luggage rack (no looker I must admit).
Now I have to cross a park to get to my garage and what I wasn't prepared for was a gang of horrible teenage kids shouting abuse at me and laughing at my bike.
Now don't get me wrong at 42 I couldn't care less what they think of me but my daughter was very upset by this and asked me when we got home if I knew they were laughing at me.

So my question is this-
Do I put my kids at risk of being bullied because I like riding around on unfashionable curse word bikes and driving about in shonky old cars or do I finally grow up and suppress the urge to be an individual and buy a mountain bike and a Peugeot 308 like everyone else around me has for the sake of my kids.

Not really sure what to do here so has anyone else had a similar experience? HELP!!!

Here's the offending bike-



And a 100a on the ragged edge for your troubles

[Rusted Pistons]

I think it's the perfect opportunity to teach your kids to be happy with who they are - you're happy with who you are and consequently couldn't give a toss if the local ragamuffins don't care for your peddler.

[Seth]

As a wise man once said, 'Why Grow Up?'

[stuartp]

I bought and restored a Raleigh Commando few years back. It's the bike I absolutely loved when I was a kid.
I can just about ride it as a 6ft adult but who cares!

I got some grief riding it in the park too

I have no children to use as any kind of excuse though ;-)

keep on as you are mate

[niwid]

I think changing who you are for the sake of your kids reputation would be a bad idea. As a parent you're setting an example, and apart from the fact that they will then think it's OK to change who you are and what you do, just to please people who don't like you, you need to set an example in terms of taste in cars and retro bikes.

I was bullied as a kid anyway, it hurt at the time, but I still had my friends. I think it taught me a lot about being who I want to be.

[Dom]

They may laugh at your Datsun too, but not when you're a couple of yards away from running them over.

[WillCarter]

The way I look at it is, those kids that are laughing now, will be essentially the same people in 10/20/30 years time, the only difference is that while now they think they're cool in 20 years time they'll be the sad act still cracking the same jokes, still hanging around with the same idiots and will have never left their little fish bowl lives. Teach your kids to be the opposite of that.

[retrolegends]

Thanks for the boost Guys, my lad already has 4 bikes one of which is a Raleigh Tomahawk and is nuts on 60s and 70s cars (his name is Austin), my daughter is a bit more sensitive though and takes things quite seriously for someone so young so it does concern me,
I was bullied myself mainly because when everyone in my school was into Duran Duran and Frankie goes to Hollywood I was listening to the Electric light orchestra and Status Quo!

Dom I would never hear them laughing at me in my Datsun as the exhaust is far too loud for me to hear them!

[grifterkid]

Stick to what makes you what you are sir, to change is to let yourself down in a way. I understand that something like this can upset your nippers but it's a perfect lesson to show them that everyone in this world is different and that there are people out there that are so unconfident in being different that they have to be the same as everyone else and mock those who have the bravery and vision to do things a bit differently...!!! Vive la Difference...

[awoo]

speaking as a person who works for child protection, we always tell people to prioritise the welfare of their kids over the wants of parents social lives and desires etc. although it usually applies to aggressive people and drug addicts etc, not bikes if choice.

even so if its upsetting your daughter maybe just suck it up and get a modern bike for the sake of her confidence.


I'm my own opinion though i would say you should modify the folder with some sick bmx parts, as they share parts quite well, tyres, brakes, bars etc.

[Jizmondo Scrotmondo]

As we say in the Black Country "Dow tek no notice!" It wasn't nice for your nippers but as said, it's a good opportunity to show them that you should never change because of other people. I had a couple of nasty comments when I owned my orange 1303 but my nippers loved it and the compliments outweighed the negativity. NEVER change who you are because of some Vermin. They're the ones with a problem, not yow lot!

[Deleted]

seen the local hanging outside chip shop gangs grow into more mature people given time
people are scared of individuals cos they cant put them into a category
by being retro minded be it old cycles cars whatever we are making a statement saying i am individual
I'm 63 still have a skull on my jeep and more inside
my own relatives i think laugh probably but i am happy
looking at my boring beemer owning neighbours i am truly thankful i am different
my nieces once said the kids at school aint got an uncle like you in a big wheeled jeep
their loss i said
there now grown up and their kids say the same
its just history conditioning people to only accept acceptable sterio types
i will never change
local yobs don't pass comment probably cos I'm a lot bigger and meaner but if they took the time to ask questions theyd learn I'm really just like them or was as a youth worse than they can imagine

[phil73]

Amongst the group of scornful kids will be one or two who are actually thinking "that's pretty cool" but because the leader of their group is a thuggish psychopathic little turd they acquiesce. Stay as you are and realise that your daughter actually admires her old man's ability to ignore the nay-sayers.

Anyway, you have a Datsun and are, by definition, cool.

[masi]

I am also for the retro thing, I teach my daughter that it is normal for dad to push the car for it start in the daycare parking lot

I would still like to agree in some way with awoo also. It is not changing who you are, if you change your bike because of your kids? They can't think like adults, they will not necessarily "learn" that you should not change your way because of others, they might just feel afraid when riding with you? If they feel afraid each time, I am not sure they will learn the thing there is to learn? It depends of their age, and their psychological capacity? And this is something you will know as you know your child.

My main point is, even if we _might_ know how the kids will feel in the future (bully or bullied), it is still a child with not our kind of reasoning and logic. It is up to the parent to decide if the emotional stress is too much to that _certain_ child, if that stress _optional_ and could be avoided. I am sure that children in war zones are really tough and independent, but that is still not how I will raise my children.

Sorry, I hope this is not too an extreme point of view, I just think you need to take in consideration the capacities and capabilities of the child, and not just think that teaching an idealogie will be same as the children learning that, it can be the opposite. On the other hand, using an old bike/car should never be something to be ashamed of, it is not always of choice.

[Davenger]

Sod them!
Make some kind of childish comment about their mums, and go about your business.

[phil73]

Oct 25, 2013 18:50:47 GMT Davenger said:

Sod them!
Make some kind of childish comment about their mums, and go about your business.

curse word that. Ask them if they know who their Dad is.

edit: lol, Bu*ger is a curse word according to the site. Is it now owned by American prudes?

[sweep]

Changing who you are wouldn't be wise IMO, being into retro stuff generally takes you out of being part of the 'norm', something that will hopefully rub off onto your kids in that it's fine to be different.
It's a sad world really, all too often kids are drummed into being normal and average(might not be the right word to use) instead of allowing their minds to be creative and aspire to be something special.

[accord83]

Wouldn't changing demonstrate to your daughter that you cave in to silly boys. Therefore would that make her think it is normal to fold when faced with adversity and to get in step with the herd? Better to explain that their lives are so empty due the lack of education and manners that they laugh at anything, like monkeys.

I must admit I have no experience to advise you from on this sort of thing though as I'm approximately 2 cubic metres in size....
I'm might be old but I still 'kin big and ugly.

[Foxy]

My eldest hates that I've got a slammed, smelly jag. If her and her friends need a lift anywhere they'd rather go in my scruffy works iveco. That said however, she has decided that she wants a 3rd gen Honda prelude as her first car. I'm proud.

[phil73]

Oct 25, 2013 19:04:50 GMT Foxy said:

My eldest hates that I've got a slammed, smelly jag. If her and her friends need a lift anywhere they'd rather go in my scruffy works iveco. That said however, she has decided that she wants a 3rd gen Honda prelude as her first car. I'm proud.

When you pass on it isn't going to be the Iveco she remembers. It will be fond memories of that smelly, slammed Jag.