For sale in Braintree, Essex - email xp_mckenna AT yahoo.co.uk or PM on here
EQUIPMENT
Steering wheel, glove box, gearstick (worn), gaiter (also worn), Magic Tree (TM) air freshener approx. 2 years old. Rear view and wing mirrors.
EXTERIOR
Through the thick coat of dust, grime, spider webs and other associated muck lurks a shell as black as my soul. Passers by largely ignore it, trip over it or ask "What the hell is this doing here?". VR6 side skirts are hanging off as a result of being held on with good will and sticky tape which attaches itself only adequately to rust. A child has scribed 'Callum is gay' on the rear windscreen through the dust with grammatical accuracy and a comic-sans style font. Front bumper shows signs of invisibility as it has been removed but is located about 3 feet away. Mad Max would look at this exterior and announce "no, I'll pass actually..." Driver's side sill is filled with old newspaper, chicken wire and the hopes and dreams of a generation. Fear gripped my very core before I could even contemplate looking at the passenger side. Suspension is present but some would argue the current owner demonstrated a 'haphazard' approach to physics when bolting on the standard suspension from a Corrado, giving the vehicle the appearance of a drunken Quasimodo when rolling it back and forth. It's a one off.
INTERIOR
This has been pillaged by human-sized gophers. Weight saving, and therefore extra power, has been gained from stripping the rear doors of unnecessary 'door cards' and 'window switches'. Large sections of the interior have been removed and rearranged 'Jackson Pollock' style to add to the uniqueness of this vehicle. A solitary set of allen keys adorn the rear footwell in a defiant statement of intent. These will most likely be removed before sale, but could be negotiated as part of the purchase. Front seats show remarkable evidence of being there. Despite having accommodated many a bottom they remain intact as well. They offer a spacious and frankly luxurious venue for eating a sandwich at lunchtime and pondering the question "what am I doing sat here?". In another unique twist, this is arguably the only Mk3 Golf that offers a 'walkthough' facility to the boot - this is largely from necessity as the bootlid doesn't open.
ENGINE AND TRANSMISSION
Sigh...serious bit, and the only bit worth having. 2.8 VR6 on OBD2, shade over 110k on the clocks. Ran very well, no rattles - quiet and surprisingly nippy for a big unit. This was bought as a donor for a Corrado but
a) It's not as simple as a straight swap - OBD 1 to 2, different manifolds etc.
b) I've sold the Corrado
Had to use the coilpack and leads on my Corrado so you'd need to source your own...
There's some paperwork to back up the history and mileage, and a bunch of old MOTs although I actually threw a load of stuff away when I bought the car stupid I know) because it was intended to be a donor.
WHEELS, TYRES & BRAKES
Continuing the 'Mad Max' theme all wheels demonstrate record-breaking levels of corrosion. Those who like they silver paint greyed and their lacquer peeling off in huge chunks will not be disappointed. Tyres demonstrate a 'pot luck' approach to tread - some do have it, some don't and it's in weird places. Brake discs look strangely out of place as they appear, under a thick layer of rust, to actually be useable. The front pads demonstrate a pleasing level of thickness, much like that ex-girlfriend you had that was pretty and made you feel good about yourself because you were smarter than her. Rears are less impressive, much like the rear on said ex-girlfriend. A spare wheel may well be present but the aforementioned bootlid refuses to open, like the legs of an entirely different ex-girlfriend, so regard its presence as a magical mystery that only YOU, dear reader, could possibly find out.
HISTORY FILE
The word 'file' can mean so many things - in this case if you're happy to look at a service book that's largely blank but with some faded receipts thrown in place then you've come to the right place! There is evidence of 'history', but what is history, really? A wise man once said that "all history is subjective", so I invite you to make your own!
Not the actual car, but a useful guide as to what this car could be used for...
£200 takes this piece of automotive history.
OR THE SHORT VERSION...
Low-ish mileage 2.8 VR6, perfect to swap out an old lump or has everything (coilpack excluded) to convert a Mk2 Golf to VR6 and keep the running gear to go widetrack.
It'll roll onto the back of a trailer.
No tax, no MOT, currently SORN, V5 here.
For £200 you can take what you need, part it out and scrap the rest and break even. I want the space more...
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