lol
Shall we begin, then? For those who've never been to the Festival of Speed... well, firstly, why not? What are you doing on a car forum? Perhaps if you're just lonely then maybe matchdotcom might prove a better way of making new friends?
Right, I'm assuming those left have a deep and abiding interest in cool cars and are with us for the long haul, so I'll begin. The Festival is (stop me if you've heard all this before) the brainchild of the current Lord March of the Goodwood estate. Those of us who grew up in the region tended to associate Goodwood with the gee gees and the great and good of society on their ivory plinths swilling champers and lording it over the lumpen proletariat (that's you and me, in case you don't recognise the description). Fortunately, that was the old man's doing, the previous Earl. The current one is rather more akin to the hearts of us petrolheads, and from an early age he was set upon the path of hydrocarbon-fuelled righteousness by his grandfather.
The old boy clearly didn't see the point of being a damned Earl and owning half of Sussex if one couldn't bloody well give it a bit of large once in a while, by the Lord Harry, and so took it upon himself to organise a hillclimb up the driveway of his estate. As canny as he was fearless, he was definitely no mug and some argue his hillclimb was simply an excuse for him to thrash the blue arses off his peers as he was possessed of a truly prodigiously capable Lancia the likes of which none of his competitors could match. Whether the whole affair was simply guaranteed bragging rights for his Earlship or whatever, the fact remains that it all left a great impression on the young Charles (our current incumbent).
Sinking ever-deeper into the motor-powered mythology of the region (Spitfires replaced motor racing through the War years on the estate), it became Lord March's avowed dream to resurrect the long-dormant Goodwood circuit and bring motor racing back home. This proved the Lord's own job (no pun) and while he was jumping through the tedious metaphorical hoops of safety legislation, planning permissions, rampant NIMBYism and all the other shenanigans that our country flings up to prevent anything genuinely cool ever happening, he decided in the meanwhile that if the motor racing circuit was not going to resurrect itself overnight then he may as well organise a massive garden party while he was waiting.
So he got together with his motor-racing pals both in the sport and in journalism, called favours, probably furnished brown envelopes to local councillors too, for all I know*...
*no, no he didn't. He really didn't. This is for comic effect and is in no way meant to reflect in reality on any persons real, imagined, alive, dead or undead
...and the Festival of Speed was born. Originally imagined as the return of his grandfathers' hillclimb with a few bits of dressing to make it sexier, it quickly grew and evolved into quite simply the best single motor sport experience on the planet. Whilst the focus remains the hillclimb and most entered vehicles will attempt it at least twice a day over the three days of the Festival, it has become so much more. The event attracts historic racing cars and bikes from all eras and all disciplines of motorsport, from the vintage monsters of pre-Edwardian times through early Grand Prix races to diversification into Formula racing, rally, endurance, GTs... if you can think of it, there's probably one of them here. Surrounding the paddocks that themselves comprise one of the best car shows on the planet as a static display, a true carnival of motoring has sprawled out over the grassy hills of the estate. You can see film star cars... and film stars... BMX and X-sport displays, sit and dine on oysters and Veuve Clicqout, spot racing legends ancient and modern, pore over brand new models from every global manufacturer (yep, even Dacia)... and even drive them up the Hill yourself... browse for that rare and OOP motoring book or model in the retail village (and buy eye-wateringly expensive "lifestyle" merchandise should you wish to emulate the surrounding Lords and Ladies' spending habits... like £49 for a Gulf T-shirt... or a few hundred for a leather hat, yeah, like the ones you get on the market for a tenner, those ones... or two thousand five hundred for a petrol pump converted into a wine chiller... just what your Manhattan-loft style apartment in Docklands needs to be sooooo right on-trend, dahlinkgs... or £23 000 for a Bentley-themed Tag Heuer. Yeah, that's twenty-three grand in case you thought my fat fingers had hit the wrong keys).
So that's the current vibe of the Festival. Shall we take a stroll around the grounds in general before plunging into the relative sanity and more familiar ground of the paddocks? Yeah, take a look...
It's 7 a.m. Gates have just opened in the sprawling fields... now carparks... surrounding the grounds of the Goodwood Estate proper. As I come in along the South Coast from my ghetto bolthole, I have to cross the golfcourse to exit my carpark, and two things strike me immediately. One is that I'm the only person cool enough to have come here in an RX-7. Plenty of Ferraris, Jags, Porkers, all that overblown showy stuff. But this year is Mazda Year and I'm the coolest cat on this milkfloat. The other thing to strike me is; imagine having an actual golfcourse in your garden.
He's got a cricket pitch too.
I enter the event through the Moving Motor Show. Which is all modern stuff and blows no Manhattan Iced Doughnuts up me at all (ask the Charlatans about those). I found it hard to find anything much to love beyond a sole Gullwing SL shoved almost embarrassedly to one side of the Mercedes stand
so we'll leave that quickly behind and head into the grounds, uphill towards the House. We'll pass by the awesome machinery of the Style et Luxe glinting in the early morning sun on the Stable Yard lawn. Come back to it later. I've heard amazing things about this years' Central Feature. Always a closely guarded secret, but rumours always sneak out. And this is Mazda Year...
Oh yeah, she's a good 'un
I can see that most iconic (to a rotard) livery poking through the foliage of the ancient sweet chestnuts and limes surrounding the lower buildings. Turn the corner past the oyster/champers tent and
Boom! Mazda very kindly loaned a shell from the Le Mans-wining 787B for this display. You might also have seen the videos of their fictitious rendered racer from the new GT game. Well, they made one of those too. And there it is, albeit an empty model.
Every year sculptor Gerry Judah outdoes himself with a gargantuan display feature to go in the Carriage Circle outside the House. Although my personal favourite was the Lotus Oroboros, this one has to come a close second if only because of my partisan attachment to the cars. And when I say "gargantuan", it seriously is. You can see it from just about anywhere in the grounds
There then followed a diversion to take the zaniest angle photo I could think of...
Before finally getting bored and settling for a couple of closeups before moving on
So as we continue up the hill past the House and into the trees below the main paddock, we come to the first independent stand. McLaren has been one of the staunch supporters of the FoS from the get-go and their stand is always one of the coolest. Perhaps due to their long association, they get a spot right near the House from which to show off their new cars, pay homage to older legendary cars and sell you extremely expensive (but very nice) coffee and branded apparel. Which used to be called clothing in the old days, but I think when you add a logo and double the price it becomes apparel. Anyway, this caught my attention from a long way away, being one of the very few long-tail F1 GTRs ever built
look at that! 6,204 characters into this report and we've finally got a picture of another actual car. Count yourselves lucky. I took 1600 photos over two days and managed to whittle them down to only 689. You're gonna be here while, might as well get comfy...
*ahem* anyway, McLarens. Cool beans. They have a rather natty cutaway of their multiple engine-of-the-year award winning lump. I always like a nice cutaway and it was fun seeing how close I could get to touching it before the suited flunky guarding it shooed me away
The new 570S was a big draw for them, as it fills a vital gap in the model range below the more established ones. Sorta an entry-level McLaren to draw in new buyers, and very affordable too at only 140 grand
and turning full-circle from where we came in, the new 675LT is named after the Long-Tail up there on the plinth and is designed as a track-focussed lightweight evolution of the 650S. Which clearly was
totally bloated and overweight
Leaving the McLaren stand, if we head into the narrow path between the trees, we find it's bordered on the North side by a traditional olde-worlde Sussex flint wall area, sealed off by gates and flunkies. This is the entrance to the strictly invitation-only Driver's Club (sponsored by Tag Heuer, natch). In here the celebs and star drivers can relax a bit away from the hoi paloi (yep, you and me again) and chill. Maybe even chillax, I dunno, but anyone who can afford one of the £20 000 watches of the sponsor can afford to call their downtime whatever the hell they like I guess.
Suffice to say, the likes of you can't go in here. But kindly they always lay on a guard of honour of cool cars flanking the red carpet to give the autograph hunters something to ogle while they wait patiently for a glimpse of Kimi or a hint of Lewis. This year the display was of Steve McQueen cars. And it seems he had one or two nice ones, although of course the one everyone thinks of is
that Highland Green fastback...
although I found the voluptuous curves of the XKSS Jag more to my liking
The Speedster's pretty neat too
OK, so this is a blind alley and we're not going into the main paddock yet, just getting a feel for the layout, the vibe. I tend to go on the Thursday because, like me, it seems most of the public aren't actually that arsed about the Moving Motor Show and thus don't turn up and it's the quietest day of the four. The downside is that the cars aren't running up the Hill, but it's worth that sacrifice to be able to get close to the exhibits without a million fools blundering into you. That's what the Sunday's for. So I go then, too. Anyway, on this Thursday, if we wander back down to the Style et Luxe Stable Yard cos we saw some big Mazda publicity stuff on the way in. Let's check that out, shall we?
Oh dear. As usual, Mazda seem to have missed their own party. Ignoring the fact that there's the most iconic car ever to race from their marque stuck hundreds of feet above their heads, and choosing to miss the fact that the paddock echoes to the eerie scream of four-rotor engines revving their hearts out, Mazda yet again decided to ignore the rotary heritage that unarguably made them their name, and try to flog you an MX-5. Yes, you. And three hundred million other people. Oh yeah, that part already happened, didn't it. Well, *sigh* the masses can't be wrong, can they? And there was me thinking we're all individuals. Anyway, the Stable Yard consisted of some MX-5s, some of them painted (or more likely, wrapped) by artistes, some of them plugged into sensors so you could play them like timpanis.
and a jazz band noodling away in the most irritating fashion. Throughout the two days I was at FoS, every time I went near the Yard, it was an endless circuit of people wandering in, nervously waiting to be told they weren't allowed in, then realising that they
were allowed in but that it was utterly underwhelming, and hurrying back out again looking slightly embarrassed. Epic fail. A tragic Mazda let-down yet again, just like every year. Oh well, maybe the main Mazda stand will be better (spoiler alert; it wasn't) but this isn't doing it for me, especially contrasted against the breath-taking heritage spread Maserati put on in the same Yard last year.
OK then, let's leave behind the perennial disappointment of the Mazda effort behind. If we head back towards the McLaren stand and turn right we find the main bridge over the Hillclimb track. This leads us to the "infield" where the trade village and manufacturer stands reside. Plenty here to keep you occupied, and this area alone would contitute a pretty good show on its own. The manufacturer stands are true edifices of style and ingenuity and it's mind-boggling how much work must go into assembling these and taking them down after their brief four-day life. every year there are new twists and clever displays. Ford even had a giant helter-skelter slide on the side of theirs! And the Honda stand was particularly clever, I thought
This is also a chance to see new models, often before they've been seen anywhere else other than a motorshow. Since we're on the Honda stand, by way of example the new Civic Type R. Perhaps falling victim to that old Japanese weakness of knowing when too many bits of styling are enough...
Toyota manage quite some bragging rights by being able to put the shell of a Le Mans top-flight hybrid front and centre
whilst inside is one of the most pure and gorgeous designs ever to come out of Japan, the 2000GT (as well as probably being the most expensive)
alongside the not-even-close-to-available FT-1. This will undoubtedly hit the markets watered down from its current concept-car wackiness but if this is the future for hybrids then maybe it's not such a bleak future after all. Bet those groovy LED lights don't make it to market though
Another brand new car that caught our eyes was on the Koenigsegg stand. Unmissable on a giant rotating plinth was the new Regera, which might retain the definitive Koenigsegg corporate look but has loads of neat touches not least of which is the coolest third brake light ever seen. Not to mention carbon-fibre wheels.
New for this year was the "bike village" displaying production models past and present and reflecting the ever-present importance of the motorcycling aspect of the FoS. No doubt popularity was buoyed by the first-time attendance of a certain one Mr Rossi, so it was appropriate one of his more definitive colourschemes was present in the form of his title-winning Aprilia RS250
Shall we give Mazda a second chance and look in at their proper main stand? Hmmmm, MX-5s then. And a few MPSs. Oh well. I suppose if you have to put your entire stock into Miatas then this one isn't a bad one to have. VIN number 15 IIRC, and the original motor show display car, you're not going to see another this good anywhere else
It's not all current models that the manufacturers want you to covet... and preferably put a deposit on. Turn the corner in the tent city and all sorts of unexpected delights pop up out of the blue. Such as this excellent 1948 Alvis-based "Goodwin Special". For Sale if you have
deep pockets
If you keep heading downhill away from the rack, you eventually come out into more open space away from the tents. Down across the cricket pitch you can see a row of giant old Cedars-of-Lebanon fringing the country park grounds, and in their shadow is the X-games arena where various spandex-clad maniacs will be putting on displays of motocross and BMX lunacy throughout the day
The Cricket pitch is usually host to a display of more avant-garde vehicles... there have been hotrods here in the past, and land speed record cars. This year there were a smattering of movie cars although a sparse display by previous standards. The Man From U.N.C.L.E. reboot featured, and the rather smart Wartburg 311 got my attention if for no better reason than I honestly can't remember the last time I saw one
But nearby were the true ace in the hole in the form of two of the cars from the recent Mad Max Fury Road film. Which personally I thought was excellent. And the original Ford Falcon is one of my all-time top ten cars all day long, so I spent a long time paying homage to it. It was complete with all the extra touches added for the new film, such as the puncture "repaired" with sacking and rusty wire! I have soooooooo much want for this car. Gotta hand it to ya, Treasure... the last of the V8 Interceptors
Alongside was Nux's Chevy (mostly) pursuit car, which was simply breathtaking in its attention-to-detail. Considering it's a film prop and most of the little touches will never be noticed, they're all here regardless. Someone really loved building this car, and put a lot of themselves into it not caring whether anyone ever knew or not. I had to be patient to get these shots, given that there was a constant queue of punters waiting to get selfies of them hanging on the lances on the front just like Max.
A lot of the details were obvious in the film, like the "bobble-head" birds skull NOS tap on the dashboard
and the dolls' face steering wheel (although you never saw the amount of work that went into it)
but did you notice the false-teeth handbrake and eyeball gearknob? Or Nux's name carved into the brake pedal rubber?
or the emblems cast into the headliner?
or even the surprisingly good flow-forming machinery they have in a post-apocalyptic world in order to press the flame reliefs into the exhausts?
I have a lot of time for this car. And a lot of admiration for the film company that put so much unnecessary but wonderful love into a disposable prop. Awesomes
On the Sunday, having dragged Mrs Lucky over to pay homage to these titans of the Silver Screen, we were distracted by the appearance of one of the noisier vehicles to show at the Festival. Not on four wheels, or two, or indeed any, but nonetheless you have to love the Typhoon Eurofighter that popped by to entertain the crowds with its callous disregard for the laws of physics.
No Red Arrows today, sadly. Guess they were busy elsewhere. Sad times. We decided to console ourselves with a spot to eat, since the cricket pitch is fringed with eateries. And being Goodwood, we're not talking about the sort of rat burger you get at Santa Pod that looks like the donor animal died of old age rather than in an abbatoir and feels like it needs an oil change desperately, then sits in your stomach reminding you that it's going to do you harm sooner or later. Nope, here you can get hog roast, seafood, paninis, anything you want as long as it's posh-sounding and unexpected. We had fresh-cooked continental waffles, opting for the fresh strawberry and syrup topping. And this being Goodwood, even the ice-cream vans are the coolest in the world
So, once you've indulged in the esoteric snack of your choice, you have little alternative but to plunge back into the tent city to return to the track and the paddocks. And again there's much to surprise and delight here. On the Thursday, ambling around with Tommo we spotted something pretty attention-grabbing towering over the adjacent stands
Sadly a static display rather than a functional vehicle, but the Cummins stand proved to be amazingly rock-and-roll. As you'd hope really from a company who's idea of a subtle promotional tool is a stretch Mini with a ocean ferry engine. Tommo found one or two turbos to his liking, apparently deciding size matters and if you can fit your entire head in it then it must be good
One thing else stood out on the stand, and that was the unmistakeable W-12 shape of a Napier Lion aircraft engine. Complete with terrifyingly complex wiring instructions on an achingly beautifully-made brass insert. Yeah, that "Broad Arrow" engine that powered legendary speed record and competition cars such as the Napier Railton and Seagrave's Golden Arrow. Why would they have such a thing?
well, they had it simply because one of their more talented and eccentric engineers fell in love with the Napier Railton on a visit to Brooklands. He began paying ever-more frequent visits to see the car, until one of the museum staff asked him what exactly the hell he thought he was doing and he was forced to confess he was taking every single measurement he could from the Railton. He'd decided, quite naturally and as yer do, that his life wouldn't be complete until he'd made his own replica of it. So he did.
The most heart-warming part of this story is that the Museum of Brooklands didn't unceremoniously turf him out onto his derrière and set the dogs on him, but embraced him to its metaphorical bosom and allowed him all the access to the priceless car that he needed. And his boss at Cummins didn't tell him to stop wasting company time and resources and sack him to within an inch of his life, but in fact encouraged him and welcomed his project as a great promotional tool. Which it undeniably is.
And I tell you what, the guy is an absolute fabrication genius! Considering he's made every bit of this car more or less singlehandedly, it's incredible and of at least as good quality as the original (which handily enough, was in the Brooklands Paddock of the FoS for comparison). At its heart lies a Cummins diesel engine, perhaps marginally less evocative than the Napier Lion, but damn what an engine. It's compound charged with a centrifugal supercharger blowing through a turbo so it's always making mad boost, and it sounds utterly epic. Every component is a work of art, but especially the manifolds that are so mind-bogglingly complex they'd give Dr Mobius nightmares so profound he'd wake up vowing to stay off the sauce and to stick to nice straightforward Euclidean geometry in future. Awesome car, just astonishing. And I've no need for any Cummins products, not really having a boat or locomotive that needs powering, but I have a massive amount of admiration for the company after chatting to the guys on the stand
Near to the Cummins stand was a mainstay of FoS, Bill Shepherd Mustang. Who sell, perhaps not unsurprisingly, Mustangs. And this being Goodwood (as we've established) their promotional tools tend towards the larger than life end of things.
Yep, it's a Mustang. No, not the highland Green fastback in the forground, the actual P-51 Mustang plane behind. Pretty cool as billboards go, no? And while we're at it, that Mustang ... the
car... is worth a second look as well
Pretty clean and immaculate, clearly a quality resto job. And then you notice the brand-new fuel-injected Ford Racing motor. No, if you have to ask you can't afford it. But it's nice to dream isn't it?
And in a similar vein, if you walk a bit further along this aisle you'll come to a little showground where you can (dream about) buy the supercar of your choice. Perhaps a nice early Diablo, sir? The flip-up headlights are so much more desirable over those nasty late-model Nissan ZX ones. In LOOK AT ME yellow, too
Or maybe sir prefers his Sant' Agata products a little more modern? Oh yes, sir has impeccable taste in Bolognese exotica. Perhaps a nice Aventador in Cosa Nostra Black is more for the en vogue gentleman about town?
No? Nothing from the stable of the raging bull today then. Perhaps one of the more up-to-date offerings from down the strada apiece in Modena might be more to sir's liking? Maybe a The Ferrari The Ferrari might suit, if sir can overcome the sense of hopeless mirth inspired by the absurd nomenclature?
No, you're quite right, I could never afford one either. I couldn't even afford an AutoArt scale replica of one. Maybe something more real world... let's look at some Vauxhalls instead
Oooof! It's only the world's bonkers-est stealth murder saloon ever! 177mph? From a Vauxhall Carlton? Oho, yes. I wish there were still things this mad being released into the wild. Some other cool Griffins lay about the place, too
Droopsnoot! Lovely.
This Corvette featured around 500 very severe Imperial measured cubed inches and needed quite a bit of extra bonnet to fit it all in. Nope, couldn't afford this either...
Please bear in mind that all these cars are a mere sideshow, they're tinsel, background, irrelevancies. And I bet you at any other show you'd spend ages happily in their company. But then here at FoS you wander into one of the paddocks and suddenly perspective happens and even something as barking mad (and rare) as a Lotus Carlton seems a bit... well, average. And on this note we turn our noses back uphill. The wind is bringing the sound of high-strung race engines and the smell of hot oil and petrol is starting to displace the aroma of griddled fruitbat fritters. It's time to head back towards the reason for us coming here, the pilgrimage to pay homage to the ultimate in motorsport. Let's head back to the paddocks, shall we? Ignoring the distraction of stands that will use one of the most mental engines ever constructed, the H-24 configured sleevevalve Napier Sabre as a promotional tool to sell you raffle tickets...
....ignoring the Ariel stand trying to entice into buying one of their flying bedstead specials by throwing a curve ball in the shape of the best use yet found for a Honda VFR engine... i.e. putting it into another bike, namely the Ace...
...and ignoring the concern trying to flog you the ultimate 80s chest-wig chariot, the Testarossa. In Miami Vice White, no less. Yours for a mere 150k. Could you live with wheels that "rotated" in opposite directions for that money though? I couldn't...
...ahhh, now wait a moment. This we do have to pause to admire for a second. The Japanese Performance Parts boys from deepest darkest Crawley have a nice spread here, and are showing off some of their newly imported ranges. The DBA setups are cool, and I don't have and will never be able to afford an R35 GTR but the exhaust options are worth drooling over
but what's really caught the eye is proprietor Saj Moghul's most excellent Beams-engined Celica. Lovely car, really well built and well worth pausing a while to admire. If only the guys imported RX-7 parts, eh?
Right, that's enough of that. We've got a feel for the vibe and layout of the place now, but the pulse is starting to quicken. The howl of motors is echoing between the straw bales and off the flint walls of the House, and the Hill is alive with the sound of two-strokes. It's time to see some real cool stuff. Let's head back to the paddocks, and immerse ourselves in all that's great and good in the history of racing, shall we?
... in the next instalment
