It’s with a heavy heart that I must let go of this delightful Suzuki Swift that we’ve nicknamed ‘Grotbags’. We picked this up as a stopgap for my wife while her car was in for repair as it was cheaper than renting a car, public transport or even walking. Despite Grotbags being entirely disposable, we've grown rather fond of it; my wife even wrote this article.
Since we purchased it, we’ve fitted a brand spanking new catalytic converter and front pipe so it’s quiet and kind to the environment (it is green after all). We also gave it a bloody good clean inside as it was frankly disgusting (hence the name).
Although it now actually smells passable, we couldn’t remove the cigarette burns in the seats or a strange brown substance in the cubbyhole in front of the gear lever. As neither my wife nor I have been taken ill, I assume this substance is fairly harmless.
Still, you do get luxury equipment such as cupholders, metallic paint, a driver’s door pocket, a sunroof, seats, windows and even a steering wheel. As the previous owners clearly loved it nearly as much as they loved man's best friend, they have also added some fetching paw-print graphics and a couple of Dog’s Trust stickers in the rear window. We were going to remove them, but our dog asked us not to.
This is just the tip of the modification iceberg. There’s an aftermarket stereo that even has a USB port (but not an iPod connection before you ask) and it sports modified bodywork too. There are drift-spec bumpers held on with cable ties while every panel has been finessed with a dent or scrape. Only the roof has escaped this customisation.
Despite being the entry-level 1.0-litre with a thumping 53bhp, it’s powerful enough to get up to motorway speeds and stay there as long as there isn’t a hill. The good news is that my wife regularly gets over 50mpg out of Grotbags as it weighs the same as half a box of Maltesers.
That’s particularly handy as there’s no power steering and of course no ABS. Airbags are also absent but at least that is one less thing to go wrong. Currently Grotbags is MOT’d until the 9th March which gives you plenty of time to sort out the slipping clutch and occasionally stubborn gearchange. Still, a fistful of grease should sort the shift while clutches are cheap.
As for mileage, it says 37,000 but I’m sure it’s been around the clock at least once. If it hasn’t, one of the previous owners must have been Mr Magoo. So, while this may not be the most desirable of cars, it has been very reliable and also cheap. There’s also a lot to be said for owning a car that you can happily leave unlocked without fear of anyone stealing it.
If you’re interested, the car is available to view in Feltham during working hours although I am able to stay a little later into the evening if it suits you. Test drives are welcome, but you’ll have to be satisfied with the industrial estate on which it’s parked unless you want to insure it.
Thank you for reading and please save Grotbags from the crusher!
Since we purchased it, we’ve fitted a brand spanking new catalytic converter and front pipe so it’s quiet and kind to the environment (it is green after all). We also gave it a bloody good clean inside as it was frankly disgusting (hence the name).
Although it now actually smells passable, we couldn’t remove the cigarette burns in the seats or a strange brown substance in the cubbyhole in front of the gear lever. As neither my wife nor I have been taken ill, I assume this substance is fairly harmless.
Still, you do get luxury equipment such as cupholders, metallic paint, a driver’s door pocket, a sunroof, seats, windows and even a steering wheel. As the previous owners clearly loved it nearly as much as they loved man's best friend, they have also added some fetching paw-print graphics and a couple of Dog’s Trust stickers in the rear window. We were going to remove them, but our dog asked us not to.
This is just the tip of the modification iceberg. There’s an aftermarket stereo that even has a USB port (but not an iPod connection before you ask) and it sports modified bodywork too. There are drift-spec bumpers held on with cable ties while every panel has been finessed with a dent or scrape. Only the roof has escaped this customisation.
Despite being the entry-level 1.0-litre with a thumping 53bhp, it’s powerful enough to get up to motorway speeds and stay there as long as there isn’t a hill. The good news is that my wife regularly gets over 50mpg out of Grotbags as it weighs the same as half a box of Maltesers.
That’s particularly handy as there’s no power steering and of course no ABS. Airbags are also absent but at least that is one less thing to go wrong. Currently Grotbags is MOT’d until the 9th March which gives you plenty of time to sort out the slipping clutch and occasionally stubborn gearchange. Still, a fistful of grease should sort the shift while clutches are cheap.
As for mileage, it says 37,000 but I’m sure it’s been around the clock at least once. If it hasn’t, one of the previous owners must have been Mr Magoo. So, while this may not be the most desirable of cars, it has been very reliable and also cheap. There’s also a lot to be said for owning a car that you can happily leave unlocked without fear of anyone stealing it.
If you’re interested, the car is available to view in Feltham during working hours although I am able to stay a little later into the evening if it suits you. Test drives are welcome, but you’ll have to be satisfied with the industrial estate on which it’s parked unless you want to insure it.
Thank you for reading and please save Grotbags from the crusher!
