People that talk curse word!

[Robinxr4i]

Okay its my third day at Halford, I am stood behind the parts desk listening to a fellow employee chat to his mate who has come in to get some 3 point harnesses for his bucket seats ....... (harmless enough) ....... until they flick through a body kit catalog ..... then conversation goes like this........

Customer "I never seen a nice looking Fiat Cinquecento"

Employee "No mate theres a nice on in Torquay, it yellow with black rims and it totally striped out"

I'm thinking that car sounds familiar, probably cheeqi car, cool!

Fellow Employee "yeah it turbo'd"

Being a helpful so and so, I pipe up...........

Me "Don't think it is mate, although its had quite a bit of engine work"

Fellow Employee "No its not mate! I've seen under the bonnet it got a 1 litre with a.............."

Wait for it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fellow Employee "...........T6 turbo"

Not wanting to challenge the guy any further, cause I've only just started, I say......

Me "Oh we must be thinking about different cars"

Fellow Employee "Yeah that must be right" looks a bit defensive

[ThePollitt]

Sounds a bit like the service adviser at a Rover garage i used to work at.....

...on the phone....

....yeah, it sounds like your prop shaft has gone.

Fair enough you might think. Despite the customers car in question being a Rover 75. Still, the lad had only worked there for 2 years, i guess he was just a bit slow to learn to product range.

Moral? If you don't know, shut up or ask.

[knobstar]

Right on the money - I work at an engineering consultancy but the amount of people who spew bull about cars is unbelieveable! Moral highground with a zipped mouth is VERY hard at times though....

[akku]

you won't convince anyone, best to let it all wash over you.

[mowzer]

Hear people talking cr*p like that all the time I just agree and then take the p*ss later on ;D

[grizz]

You may find printing a copy of this to add to the wall behind the counter helps.

[sparko]

stolen from trampdrift.com

videos.streetfire.net/Player.aspx?fileid=53F034D3-4762-4977-924A-C5CE38C2D1D7&p=0

[Nev]

sparko said:

stolen from trampdrift.com

videos.streetfire.net/Player.aspx?fileid=53F034D3-4762-4977-924A-C5CE38C2D1D7&p=0

ROFL!

[gitfarm]

funny as ................!

[Hirst]

Superb!!

[jizzy gillespie]

i had a conversation with the young mechanic at a garage i used to work at. this kid had a nice mk3 xr3(it was a while back mind). so we were chatting about it. bare in mind this kids just won an award for being the hottest apprentice mech in durham.

kid
"yeah I'm gonna turbo it like"
me
"cool, you swapping an rs turbo in?"
kid
"nah, I'm getting the head skimmed on this one to raise the compression and using a turbo technics kit"
me
" thats a bad idea mate, raising the compression and then turboing it, it ll last about ten minutes before it goes pop"
kid
" what the f**k do you know, your a valeter"
me
"crack on sunshine"

forntnight later, melted engine ;D ;D ;D ;D

[hairnet]

bloke on our motorcycle forum was giving tips on the 'Ring

never been etc ;D

[scaryoldcortina]

Ther is one lad I know talks such total curse word all the time we call him betty bullsh!t. He knows everything, has owned/ driven/ banger raced any car you could possibly name, and can't even keep simple things like his birthday or how many kids he has consistent....
It's funny at first but after a while you can't believe anything he says at all and it just gets annoying, which is why I'm sort of glad he's avoiding me over the £30 he promised to pay six months ago...

[dollywobbler]

Best one for me is the girl who came to see my mate's Mexican Beetle. She obviously decided to bring a bloke who new about cars with her. "When was the cambelt last changed?" he asked. I think my mate's jaw did genuinely hit the ground in disbelief! Not sure if they went on to ask whether the anti-freeze had recently been topped up...

[Pillock]

When I went to look at a vectra sri, just bog standard 2.0, took it for a test drive around Carsington and the seller chirps up "Yeah, there's a nice straight road here, floor it and you'll feel that turbo thing kick in". Eh? What? When I asked he got a bit vague, "Yeah, that like turbo thingie that SRIs have, really makes it go". I quite liked the car so I let it drop, but the 2.0 is the same across the range, same as the base model LS, and there ain't no turbocharger on it!

Oh, and the classic that any Aircooled VW owner will have heard - "You can get a Porsche engine in there, bolts straight in".... when that doesn't instantly make you drop to your knees and worship the bullsh*tter's knowledge they'll back it up with "my mate/dad/uncle had one years ago with it in".

[Tweek]

83golf said:

bloke on our motorcycle forum was giving tips on the 'Ring

never been etc ;D

Whats the betting he's played it in GT4 and got a sub 7 minute lap, therefore 'knows' everything? ;D

[ewokracing]

try driving a rotary. then you get every fuckwit under the sun try to tell you "oh you know the seals in those things are curse word"
and what the hell would you know sunshine, every owned one? no? curse word off...

I rank my dad and my uncle up there on their ability to spin a good yarn, unfortunately my uncle's an auto elec, but he gets his cars mixed up hence he might be telling you something true, but it just applies to the wrong vehicle.

I've had people try and tell me all about my car etc and how they've seen me race on the street etc. Kind of shuts them up when I tell them it's been sitting in my garage for 4 months and hasn't moved. Clowns.

[akku]

heard some kids in the street talking at my last place, one of them reffered to my Buick which was parked out front, called it an Impala nad said whow he'd seen me doing all the "hydro moves" in it.

[akku]

And another....

years ago I was a regular at a pub meet for one of the Vaxuall clubs. There was this lad came every month and he was restoring the earliest known surving FE Victor. It was gettng the most awesome bare metal resto, nut and bolt. There was NOS panels and parts he had going into theis car which you just never saw availabl, even back then, but lucky this lad had found a "stash" with a dealer a few years ago. Seemed a little odd when he made comments like "yeah, my FE is so early there are FD's with later chassis numbers". which is just BS because all FE's have chassis numbers after the FD series. Vauxhall didn't stop making FDs, make a few FEs and then do some more FDs... True there are FDs registered after some FEs, because of unsold stock, so I assumed thats what he meant.

Anyway then he told me he had also got some FD stuff in his attic I could have for cheap. All new boxed rare stuff. So I said "sure" and for the next 4 months or so listened to his excuses as to why he hadn;t brought it with him and why I couldn't come to his place to pick it all up.

Him & his missus were into threesomes, always doing it,, swinging, that sort of thing, and then the second he though I showed some interest in her he hit the roof...

His automatic Victor 1800 "burt off" this RS Turbo in a race, so the lads in it chased him and he out raced them round the town for 20 minutes before they gave up because they could not keep up with him.

He sold his resto project Victor for £20K to a museum.

He gave up driving because he was pulled for speeding and he thought he should give it a rest for a bit (I believe he was actually banned for drunk driving for a year)

he bought an XJS. In fact he bought two, at the motor auctions, they were so cheap that he sold one in the paper and got back enough to pay for the one he kept as well as buying a 6 Weber kit from the Jaguar club which he fitted, the car could now do "about 200 MPH" but he had to take it off again because it only did 10 MPG.

When asked a month later about his XJS, he looked confused then said "Oh, yeah, I had to sell that because lets facer if when a set of points costs you £75 you just have to sell it"

XJS has electronic ignition. No points.

I believe there was probably something wrong in the guys head. He was ever such a nice lad, but you just could not believe a word he said.

[BiAS]

Glad to see my car's become legendary locally, what with my T6 turbo conversion!
LMFAO