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May 18, 2008 15:39:13 GMT
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replaced the brakes on the rear of mk1 escy with a mate helping, drove to work next day and was overtaken by rear wheel, check other peoples work as well as your own!!! I once helped a mate do an oil change on his Metro. He'd never done it before so I was instructing as I went. Anyway, I'm there pouring the GTX into the engine and I say "You didn't do tha sump plug too tight did you?" "I've not done it yet" says he, holding out the sump plug as a gallon of oil poured into my boots.
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Jaguar S-Type 3.0 SE
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May 18, 2008 19:36:15 GMT
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I was preceding at a leisurely pace towards the local scrap yard through an industrial estate near Edinburgh. As I rounded the bend in my Mini I saw what looked like an anchor from a boat in the middle of the road. Unfortunately I was right, it was an anchor. It tore the remote gearchange off the car and I had to buy more than I had expected from the breakers!
Another time (and another Mini!) The starter motor was sticking, so rather than fix it I began carrying a hammer. When the starter jammed I'd give it a few hits and it would work. However, one night after 'courting' a young lady in a secuded back road the starter jammed. I asked the lady to hold the ignition key in the cranking position whilst I hit the starter. However it was quite dark and I smashed the distributor cap instead!
Another time, while trying to be helpful. My mate had reversed into a lamp post with his nova. I came up with the great idea of chaining the rear towing eye to the skip (we were at college that day) and driving forward thus popping out the boot floor. We chained it up and he made off down the car park. However the chain snapped, broke his front and rear windscreens and ruined the front windscreen appeture!
Another time, my mate in his Mk2 escort was following me at speed through the hills when he appeared to vanish. I drove back to find his car in the middle of the road just after the 'jump'. As he landed all the ceramic fuses fell out of their places in the fusebox!
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May 18, 2008 19:36:54 GMT
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Mine are more 'stupid' than 'bizarre'!
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May 18, 2008 20:31:42 GMT
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Once had a cortina stall at the end of me road, popped the bonnet to find the remains of a cat wrapped around the timing belt, must have been sleeping on the engine ? Made a right frikken mess funnily enough exactl the same thing happened on my brothers mk4 cortina he had years ago to say it was a mess is a massive understatement Years ago, I had an incident in my MKV Cortina where a carrier bag got wrapped around the fan. I was sat at a junction and had no clue what the sudden racket was other than the fact that it sounded uncannily like a Moped at full chat. I got out expecting to see a granny on a Suzuki Step-thru wedged under my front panel (this was 1991-ish pre-Piaggio etc). It took me a good few minutes to get to the bottom of it.
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Jaguar S-Type 3.0 SE
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Nev
Part of things
Dugong fanclub member
Posts: 884
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May 18, 2008 21:50:54 GMT
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Ooooh, electrics in general seem to make a fool of me!
On the motorway, pootling along, i realise i have no lights on (its starting to get dark), no biggie, stick the sides on and sort it out when i get to my destination... The switch terminals had melted, but i managed to bodge it so the lights came on. Drove a bit more to the car park...
Passenger: Can you smell burning? Me: *sniff* Yeah, actually i... OH curse word!
The light switch was on fire a bit! Pulled it out quick sharp, no (more) harm done, it was just really hot! After having watched a film and had some tea, i had to set off back... in the dark... I managed to bodge the switch propperly this time it lasted, oooh, 40 mins till i was just coming off a deserted unlit motorway in the dark that they ALL went off, with no sides, nothing, so then wizzed round the roundabout and found a layby with a streeet light. After much more fiddling they lit up again!
Off i wizzed into the middle of town. Coming round a round about, theres me at one exit, police car at another. You know whats coming next, switch gave up again as i was infront of them! Pulled right over, explained that the switch was nackerd but i could fix it and they let me on my way!
Turns out i couldn't fix it, i swapped the switches around so i had main beam but no rears (and the hazzards didnt work!). Eventually called up a friend to drive home behind me with main beam on so it looked like i had lights!
Minis ey?
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Maximum signature image height = 80 pixels
1967 Chevrolet El Camino
1984 Honda C50
1985 VW Polo 16v
1989 Ford Escort Popular Plus (Ex Hirst cabs)
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May 18, 2008 22:05:54 GMT
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along the cat lines..
i had new new corrolla a while back, and one day i was driving with the a/c on and i could smell a really nasty smell. it smelt like wibblepoo and got worse and worse.
I live round the corner from my toyota garage so poped in and asked them to see what the deal was!
So the guy pops the bonnet and we both have a look around. Nothing! Look underneath for road kill, nothing.
The guy moves some cables and we see a rat stuck between the side of the engine and the battery/body.
He grabs a set of longnose pliers to pull it out, but when he does (by the leg) it separates like cooked chicken off the bone! It was horid. They had to strip half the bits off that side of the engine, spatular the cooked rat off and steam clean the hole thing!
nasty! but the smell and the looked of the cooked rat leg will stay with me for a while!
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May 18, 2008 22:14:39 GMT
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Driving back from college in my old 1275GT i get on to the dual cariageway after leaving a roundabout i change fron 3rd to 4th in between gear changes the engine revs it nuts off,when in 4th the car starts to accellerate on its own at 90mph i switch the engine off and pull over.I remove the pipercross air filter to find the carb wedged open with one of the air filters bolts . Ford sierra:My mate had this tidy 1.6 shaphire as we are traveling down the M1 towards London on a winters night about 8 oclock it dies on us no lights on the dash or anything so we coast to the hard shoulder,for about a minute my mates turning the key but nothing so he pops the bonnet and we both get out to have a look.I'm standing next to the nearside front wheel as he opens the bonnet a huge ball of fire blows up in my mates face he slams the bonnet down causing the fire to ignite my now obviously nylon jacket as i'm dancing around to try and put myself out my mate just lights his fag and pulls out his mobile to call the fire brigade,ah good times(NOT)
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bortaf
Posted a lot
Posts: 4,549
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May 18, 2008 22:15:13 GMT
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It's a cortina thing ;D Once ran over a cat and found it's ear stuck in between the rim and tyre (same car actually) or the dog i ran over we had to jack the car up to get it out, poor thing was cooked to the centre box by the time we got it high enough and still alive, me the RCPCA and the police spent an hour trying to save the poor thing was cabbing at the time on me way back from a night club at 2 AM, had 4 curse word up birds freaking out at the side of the road to contend with as well That was also the same car must of had a thing for animals
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R.I.P photobucket
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mtet1101
Part of things
low,slow and retro!
Posts: 202
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May 18, 2008 22:26:28 GMT
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i had my horn stick on for a good 15mins driving to work the other day. had to wait until traffic lights to remove the fuse, i looked a right Berk!!
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May 18, 2008 23:56:05 GMT
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most bizarre for me was my rapid 136 engine, which worked and drove fine, and i parked in under cover for winter there. a month later went back to it and it wouldn't go. stripped the head off, put it back together, did the timing, it had spark, it had petrol flow, all the lectrics worked and it was a proven good engine, but it just would not or will not fire.
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I had my horn stick on for a good 15mins driving to work the other day. had to wait until traffic lights to remove the fuse, I looked a right Berk!! I soldered up a horn ring on a mates integra type-r at college whilst he was fiddling with a head-scratchingly annoying air-con system, refitted everything and tested it but forgot to test its at different steering wheel angles. Anyway, I'm sat outside after college having a fag and I see him driving towards me through the car park beeping. theres me thinking he's just saying thanks, turns out it was fine at center and all the way left but a smidge over center to the right and on comes the horn he was a bit embarassed he had to drive 30 miles home like that, I didnt have the chance to offer to disconnect it He did however give us the parting gift of a 100ft burnout off down the road bouncing it off the limiter ;D
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Faster. Faster. Until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.
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Tim
Posted a lot
Posts: 3,340
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Once had a cortina stall at the end of me road, popped the bonnet to find the remains of a cat wrapped around the timing belt, must have been sleeping on the engine ? Made a right frikken mess Jeez! Nasty. I bet that absolutely stank. worst i've done was obliterating a magpie at speed t'other day on the A31. Blood everywhere. A friends grandad had a mouse chew through the air filter lid on his tractor and nest in the box - it made a fair bit of mess when he turned the engine on about a week later and nearly went through the engine - not sure if it was turbo'd - would a mouse fit through a compressor blade? oh yeah, and that same mini went through a phase of cutting out when going up hills or accelerating hard. I spent weeks faffing with that thinking it was fuel starvation or something. It turned out to be my metal-bodied tyre pressure guage had slid behind the dash clocks and got trapped so accelerating or going up a steep hill would make if rock backwards and short out the wire to the rev counter, which was killing the ignition. Superb :-) along the cat lines.. I had new new corrolla a while back, and one day I was driving with the a/c on and I could smell a really nasty smell. it smelt like wibblepoo and got worse and worse. I live round the corner from my toyota garage so poped in and asked them to see what the deal was! So the guy pops the bonnet and we both have a look around. Nothing! Look underneath for road kill, nothing. The guy moves some cables and we see a rat stuck between the side of the engine and the battery/body. He grabs a set of longnose pliers to pull it out, but when he does (by the leg) it separates like cooked chicken off the bone! It was horid. They had to strip half the bits off that side of the engine, spatular the cooked rat off and steam clean the hole thing! nasty! but the smell and the looked of the cooked rat leg will stay with me for a while! Make driving to BBQ's easy though :-)
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stealthstylz
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 14,842
Club RR Member Number: 174
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Most Bizarrestealthstylz
@stealthstylz
Club Retro Rides Member 174
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I once caught a sparrow in the windscreen wiper of my Clio at about 90mph. It didnt explode, it was completely intact but with a broken neck, and just sat there looking at me lol. I waited till I was driving through town, saw a couple of lads from school and flicked the wipers on. Cablammo dead sparrow to head moment.
I also went for a drive up into the gravel tracks of the Yorkshire forest in my first clio. Was razzing about using the handbrake lots. Anyway got home, parked up and pulled the handbrake and I ripped the whole handle and braket straight through the floor.
Same clio I snapped the end of the handbrake cable off which fell inside the drum. Had to drive 30 miles home making a right racket sounded like when you put pebbles in a concrete mixer.
Just after I bought the red uno every time you switched the lights on it would cut out. I checked and cleaned the engine earths and it was still there. Couple of weeks later I was messing with the rear lights, took the earth off and put it back on and it cured it.
Matt
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May 19, 2008 11:26:27 GMT
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If you bump start a BSA bantam backwards, then all the rest of the gears go in reverse.
I found this out when a mate of mine bump started it for me backwards. It sat there ticking over. I jumped on it, pulled the clutch in, popped it into 1st, gave it a handfull & dropped the clutch.....................As the bantam lurched backwards...I went over the handlebars into a load of mud & water !!!!!
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71 Alfa GT 1300 Junior 89 Alfa 75 3.0 V6 Veloce 89 Alfa 75 3.0 V6 America 2015 C220 estate Daily shunter
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May 19, 2008 11:49:32 GMT
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The vision of this almost made for coffee monitor interface
Not bizarre as such but had a wheel fly off a Bedford CF. Hurtling along at 70 with mates when an awful knocking started, mate gets out to have a look (trainee mechanic) states bravely nothing wrong he can see. Set off again only doing about 30 when the wheel launched itself 200meteres into a pitch black field. I went to the farm to ask if we could borrow a jack and he had obviously called the police as there was a van and strangers about to rob him. Cops turn up and were ace, they attempt to lift van with a metro jack. Lots of groaning from the jack and we got the wheel back on. Amazingly the chrom wheel cover held all but one of the wheel nuts, how lucky?
I also had a bonnet pop up in my mini doing 70 in the middle lane overtaking an artic. BIG BROWN TROUSER moment. Managed to get on the hard shoulder looking through an inch on the right hand side. Luckily was wearing shoes with laces ;D
Mates dad only three days before had said 'you wanna get that safety catch welded back on' Pffft though I, its never popped open before why bother! Youthful stupidity is...... well..... stupid but funny.
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Last Edit: May 19, 2008 11:54:19 GMT by danblez
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Tim
Posted a lot
Posts: 3,340
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May 19, 2008 12:12:39 GMT
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Only one i had was the indicators jamming on and then setting light to something in the loom in my 106. Stopped, waited for the wisps of smoke to stop coming out the steering column, and carried on :-)
No idea what caused it - the indicators worked fine, although ocassocially uoi could hear the ticking noise as you drove along a straight road
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May 19, 2008 13:30:35 GMT
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I had a steering wheel come off in my hands as I was hurtling down a motorway exit slip in an old Datsun Stanza. I was working for a motor dealer at the time and the d**kheads in the workshop had been working on it the day before! I managed to stop fairly straight whilst wrestling the wheel back on to the splines. Another time i managed to drive all the way home with an AA warranty roof sign still attatched!
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Nathan
Club Retro Rides Member
Posts: 5,627
Club RR Member Number: 1
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Most BizarreNathan
@bgtmidget7476
Club Retro Rides Member 1
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May 19, 2008 15:05:47 GMT
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Only once had something like this.
Abot 3 years ago the company I worked for thought it would be a good Idea to give me a company car. I was 23 at the time, and they gave me a f**kin Picaso (I have no kids, not even a missus at that point). I hated it never used the clutch while I had it. One day the car decided to get its own back, driving down the M5 near Bristol happly minding my own business, I suddenly feel like I have been slapped in the face (front of my face), for a split second I saw a white flash, looked down and the fookin air bag had gone off.
I got into the services to attend to my face and check the car, I thought I hit a bird or something, but the car was fine from the outside. I just tore the bag away and kept on driving LOL.
Did eventually write that car off by going off roading in it LOL.
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Tim
Posted a lot
Posts: 3,340
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May 19, 2008 16:02:23 GMT
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Only once had something like this. Abot 3 years ago the company I worked for thought it would be a good Idea to give me a company car. I was 23 at the time, and they gave me a f**kin Picaso (I have no kids, not even a missus at that point). I hated it never used the clutch while I had it. One day the car decided to get its own back, driving down the M5 near Bristol happly minding my own business, I suddenly feel like I have been slapped in the face (front of my face), for a split second I saw a white flash, looked down and the fookin air bag had gone off. I got into the services to attend to my face and check the car, I thought I hit a bird or something, but the car was fine from the outside. I just tore the bag away and kept on driving LOL. Did eventually write that car off by going off roading in it LOL. Friend had the airbag in his Ka go off at about 70 on the M5 - outside lane. Absolutely shat himself, apparently
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