Letter from Manila - Santol - of course!

[georgeb]

You know where this is going already, don't you?

Let me set the scene.

George B is going for a beer. He's going for his first beer outside the house since March 17. It is a novelty, something to look forward to.

Madam's new part-time driver has been pre-warned several times to collect me from the house at 11:30 and convey me to Howzat. Pretty simple, straightforward and unequivocal.

Everything is okay. Isn't it?

Not so. it appears the driver has a back problem. He can't get off it in the mornings and it seems it's not the first time he's been late. However, it's the first time he's been late for me, so now his affliction is not important. His ex-career with us spanned just two weeks. I don't feel the need to award a gold watch for long service.

So, horror of horrors, flag down a taxi. Madam offered to drive me herself but then added, "...but you not like my driving." This is a huge understatement, it terrifies me! Anyway, the taxi driver actually knows where he's going. Must have put lockdown to good use and studied a map book, or something. We arrive at Howzat.

Outside, it has four tables, considerably down on its usual number, but no matter. I grab an empty one. Little chappie sashays over.

"Yes, Sir?"

"I'd like a San Mig Light please."

"Ah, sorry Sir. You have to go inside if you want to avail of alcoholic beverage." Yes, some really do speak like this. I blame the lawyers being everywhere.

"Can I smoke inside?"

"No, Sir, you have to come outside and sit at one of these tables for that."

"But I can't have a beer here?"

"No Sir, it's against the law." Obviously I'd missed this one going through the Senate, but it must be for my own good.

"Okay, I'll go inside." I start to amble off. He's not finished with me yet though.

"You need to fill in this form."

The aforementioned document demands to know if I am, ever have been or know anyone who is riddled with COVID. I answer negatively. It also wants to know if I've been anywhere that has been affected by the disease. I hesitate, as where hasn't? I've not been to Antarctica which would probably have put me in the clear, but I figured that the Philippines doesn't count, so answer 'No'.

We've still not finished yet.

He asks for identification (maybe I don't look old enough?), photographs my driving licence, sprays my hands with cleanser and takes my temperature. I am finally allowed through the hallowed portal.

I find another table to which a little girly trip-traps over.

"I'd like a San Mig Light, please?"

"Sorry, you have to order food, then I bring drink, it's the law." Really? Someone in Congress actually felt that they were protecting the population from the spread of COVID if people were forced to order something to eat before they could have a beer?

"Okay, I'll have a portion of fries and make the San Mig a bucket."

My beer arrives (in a glass, drinking from the bottle is, you guessed it, against the law today.) along with a bowl of fries which taste vaguely of fish.

Now, imagine this. The tables have a piece of transparent plastic fastened on two sticks, a bit like a ping-pong net but raised up a bit, so more like miniature vollyball court. Anyway, it's obviously going to protect me from my diseased colleague. Problem is, when we try to talk, with the three different sports showing on the televisions, all with the sound up, I can't hear an effin word.

We move around the table, the waitress objects, telling us it's against...well, I don't need to spell it out.

My friend tries to delay the food order and asks for a beer whilst he makes his mind up. She's obviously heard this one before and she's having none of it, pointedly ignoring him until he cracks. That'll be another bowl of fishy fries then.

After an hour or so we give up, both of us none the wiser, I flag another taxi and head home.

That'll be the last beer I be going out for until all the restrictions have been lifted. I just hope someone remembers to repeal all the "laws" that have sprung up.

[nomad]

Shame about your pub trip, reminds me I need to ask what mates in the UK are doing now on their Friday nites.
Sitrep from Portugal for comparison.

Cafes & restaurants are open here as normal, no need for ID, application form, or thermometers in unpleasant places.
Some tables have been removed & the remainder spaced out.
By law the public must wear a mask when entering shops.
I asked the cafe staff if I needed to wear one (answer "Yes but...") before sitting outside in the sun with beers & food (& no mask) with like-minded customers. Very pleasant!

Pubs have the same laws but customers don't even pretend to comply.

Staff in pubs, cafes, shops etc always wear masks - unless they're standing gossiping on the front doorstep on one of their regular smoke breaks.
We live in a clown world - but at least here folk are sensible regarding the rules.

[georgeb]

Jul 13, 2020 10:49:16 GMT nomad said:

We live in a clown world - but at least here folk are sensible regarding the rules.

And that's the problem. The government tries to relax the rules a bit, but then individual establishments and even people, try to enforce their own "rules" as they see fit.

Now, I'm pretty sure there's nothing on the statute books saying I have to order a bowl of fishy fries before I can get a beer. It certainly wasn't a law on March 16th, but someone in a particular establishment has decided it's a good way of getting rid of all these sea food flavoured chips that nobody wants to eat.

I'm also fairly certain that the supermarket that Madam went to, didn't suddenly receive an diktat from Malacañang Palace telling them that this week, they have to keep out under eighteens, when it was fine the week before.

Driving without a mask? WTF!

The problem here is they are hidebound by laws, rules and procedures, which are largely ignored, but without which they cannot exist ("Sorry cannot, it's procedure"). So when we have a COVID moment, everyone rushes to put their own spin on them.

Either be open, with sensible distancing, or be shut. Don't make me eat curse word I don't want!

The Philippines doesn't work on common sense. Never has done.

"TANIAAA, open me a beer!"

[varelse]

Only if you order more fishy chips, sir.

[georgeb]

So, this weekend, Great Eastern Railways Inc., (the Philippine branch) welcomed its first employee.

Mulling over the last conversation I had with J-A over how she was going to fill in her time between now and when the two of them start college next year, two things struck me.

One, if she was to work, as a senior high school graduate, she'll be condemned to something pretty dull and menial, and two, behind the simulations I'm running is a load of grunt work with spreadsheets to produce data I can load and afterwards, to pull out the results in a usable fashion. This takes literally hours for each run and for me, detracts from doing the actual runs themselves. I can instantly see the results, but the audience, who have little understanding, need to have them spoon fed in little bite sized chunks.

"Do you fancy working for me for a few months?" I asked her last night.

"For you? What would I do?" I explained that she'd have to get a basic understanding of how railways work and the sort of stuff we do to ensure that the end result is operable. I went on about the spreadsheet stuff I needed doing. All pretty dry stuff.

Her little eyes lit up as she informed me she really enjoyed playing with spreadsheets and she would love to help. She was always good at maths, but there's still no accounting for taste.

A deal was done and there we go. At least she'll be doing something that's useful to me, whilst keeping her mind busy rather than working in a 7-11 or similar. And she'll be able to stick a few Peso away as well.

"The Beginners Guide to Operating Railways" starts on Monday. I've ordered her a laptop this morning, so we should have that early next week and she can descend into Excel nirvana!

[theoldman]

So, Day 2

'Daddy George'

'Yeeees?'

'When do I get my payrise/promotion/bigger office/assistant?'

''You are hereby promoted to General Manager - Bottle Opening and Data Entry. No there's no associated pay rise. Back to work!'

[georgeb]

Hello folks.

Been quiet for a while as I picked up a very, very nasty skin infection which basically left me immobile for two weeks and unable to work for one, mainly due to pain and swelling. Anyway, by the power of modern medicine, we're nearly back up and running (not literally!).

My Little Secretary had to have a quick career change and became My Little Nurse, making sure I stayed off the booze (not difficult, I couldn't open anything and she wouldn't do it for me. Cow), making me eat, feeding me medication at the appropriate times and, on doc's orders, massaging my legs and hands four times a day with moisturiser, to stop the swelling splitting the skin.

Now we're on the road to recovery, this, not surprisingly, has become my new favourite time of the day!

Anyway, I was put down for my afternoon kip today and when I awoke...

On arrival


Ten minutes later in the Hello Kitty Suite


Meet Salem!

Totally chilled out and completely unbothered by seven curious dogs, even the Brothers Dimm.

And no, I've no idea where he came from!

As an aside, last Sunday I was going mad through pain and over the counter stuff wouldn't cut it, so we set off to find a hospital who would prescribe me something. No COVID? No chance. Tried four and they wouldn't even let me through the doors. Not a good time to have a heart attack!

[jamesd1972]

Ooh, sound nasty, hope the recovery continues. Thanks for not sharing any photos !
Thought you'd been quiet.
James

[georgeb]

Photos I saved for my boss in the hope he barfed his breakfast!

Like this arty one of Salem on the girls make-up table...

Settling in already.

Jey-Ann the photographer, Tania eating MacDonald's in the background.

Here's another thing. When we got the Brothers Dimm, they were tiny pups, no injections, then we went into complete street lockdown. Time went on, I got sick and they've never been outside.

Here's Barney's first time today...

Not overly impressed. "Sittin' on me tail!"

Buster, his brother, had run upstairs and was watching off the balcony!

Now I've got my feet nearly back, I can get them out and about a bit.

[Frankenhealey]

Aug 16, 2020 13:24:01 GMT georgeb said:

Tania eating MacDonald's in the background.

Things I have learnt from georgeb 's thread.

Definition : Filipina : When not eating is shopping or sleeping or is getting ready to sleep, shop, eat. Dozing in a mall food court with a half eaten Jollibee burger in hand probably counts as all three

[blackpopracing]

Yay!! Cute cat for the win!
Boo, George has a strange and exotic skin disease.
Hope you make a full recovery.

[Sweetpea]

Yay for 'My Little Nurse' too.

"Could you massage this goo into my gammy legs please?"
I'm surprised you didn't get, "Sod right off Daddy George!"
What a star.

Shame she wouldn't feed you the medicinal booze mind. Can't have it all.

[logicaluk]

Glad you getting over it, sounds nasty.
Dan

[georgeb]

Aug 16, 2020 13:35:17 GMT Frankenhealey said:

Aug 16, 2020 13:24:01 GMT georgeb said:

Tania eating MacDonald's in the background.

Things I have learnt from georgeb 's thread.

Definition : Filipina : When not eating is shopping or sleeping or is getting ready to sleep, shop, eat. Dozing in a mall food court with a half eaten Jollibee burger in hand probably counts as all three

The more agile minded may remember a little piece I did on living with Filipinas. It started...

"It has been said that when asked the question, “How can you tell when a Filipina is hungry?” the correct answer is, “She’s awake,” but such crass simplicity does a grave injustice to this rather shy and introverted species. True, they enjoy the odd meal, around seven or eight times a day in general and give new meaning to the term “grazing”, but to focus on this area alone is to merely scratch the surface of this complex and fascinating creature. So, let us follow her development from cradle to grave as it were and, at the end of it all, you can decide if one would fit into your household."

So you're not too far off the mark!

Aug 16, 2020 13:35:38 GMT blackpopracing said:

Yay!! Cute cat for the win!
Boo, George has a strange and exotic skin disease.
Hope you make a full recovery.

And talking of Mark...

Went in their room this morning and it became immediately obvious that this full tom needs a bit of restructuring. But yes, he's a star, albeit a smelly one! At least he's using his tray.

Recovery nearly there, thanks very much, but don't tell Jey-Ann. I enjoy the massage too much!

Aug 16, 2020 14:23:23 GMT Sweetpea said:

Yay for 'My Little Nurse' too.

"Could you massage this goo into my gammy legs please?"
I'm surprised you didn't get, "Sod right off Daddy George!"
What a star.

Shame she wouldn't feed you the medicinal booze mind. Can't have it all.

Nope, she volunteered, just like a good 'un. I just didn't realise how bloody strict a nurse she was going to be. There was no sweet talking her round!

Aug 16, 2020 19:50:17 GMT logicaluk said:

Glad you getting over it, sounds nasty.
Dan

It was. Very. Same pain as shingles with exposed nerve endings, but both legs and hands coupled with massive swelling.

I'll be finishing the last of the milder antibiotics today (the strong ones finished a couple of days ago) and I took myself off the painkillers last Friday, so we're hoping that's that. I'll probably never know what caused it, as whilst I have a list of blood tests the doctor wants to do, no lab is doing anything that's not COVID related, so there'll be nowt to test by the time they are.

Had to smile yesterday, "Daddy George, I can feel your ankles this morning." First time for a fortnight.

Anyway, they've both been stars over the last couple of weeks, Jey-Ann nursing, Tania fetching and carrying, so there's a little present for each of them being delivered today...



Ta ever so!

[westbay]

Bl**dy hell George ! turn my back for five minutes and this is what you get up too ...

Get well soon mate..

[blackpopracing]

Glad to hear you are recovering George, Tom cats sans plums are the best type, they fight less and don't wander as far.

[grizz]

Looking at your feet and the swelling, it has to be bad for your body to throw such a defensive tantrum.

Sore, disabling, and systemic which people don’t realise

Glad you are on the mend.

[gtviva]

Get well soon, lets hope it wasn't the beer that caused the skin problem!

[Frankenhealey]

Utilising my Spidey senses and $25 Medical Degree from Bombay University (School of Performing Arts) I immediately diagnosed that the vector for this particular infection of your lower extremities is due to walking the streets of Manila with 'NO FECKIN' SHOES ON'



STOP IT NOW!

My more than reasonable bill is in the post

[georgeb]

Aug 17, 2020 12:19:38 GMT westbay said:

Bl**dy hell George ! turn my back for five minutes and this is what you get up too ...

Get well soon mate..

I know, I'm not fit to be left alone!

Getting there, thanks.

Aug 17, 2020 12:23:26 GMT blackpopracing said:

Glad to hear you are recovering George, Tom cats sans plums are the best type, they fight less and don't wander as far.

Today, we've just moved (again) from Enhanced to General Quarantine, so the vets should be open again. The girls can cart him around the corner, get him checked out, he's got a snotty nose, and booked in for his plumectomy.

Thinking about it, I've got two dogs who need doing as well. Discount for bulk?

Aug 17, 2020 12:42:28 GMT grizz said:

Sore, disabling, and systemic which people don’t realise

Glad you are on the mend.

It was definitely all three of them Rian!

As I say, we'll probably never know what set it all off, I'm just glad it's gone.

Aug 17, 2020 13:16:34 GMT gtviva said:

Get well soon, lets hope it wasn't the beer that caused the skin problem!

Wash your mouth out!

Aug 17, 2020 19:11:05 GMT Frankenhealey said:

Utilising my Spidey senses and $25 Medical Degree from Bombay University (School of Performing Arts) I immediately diagnosed that the vector for this particular infection of your lower extremities is due to walking the streets of Manila with 'NO FECKIN' SHOES ON'



STOP IT NOW!

My more than reasonable bill is in the post

If I were you, I'd be asking for my $25 back. The reason I'm not wearing shoes is that, currently, none of them bleeding fit!

So you're seeing the result, not the cause.

Actually, that's not strictly 100% true. Yesterday, I was determined to go to the ATM myself, rather than send Tania (who was asleep anyway) so crammed on a pair of Converse with laces through the first three holes (very stylish) and set off for the first time in two weeks. It's probably about 500 yards away and, by the time I got there, seemed like 50 bloody miles. Finally got home with everything from the knees down protesting mightily. Emergency massage called for. Nice.

Maybe I'll set my sights a little lower for a day or two!

P.S. If the bill's in the post, I'll never see it anyway!