STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.

[dreadnought]

so, put a new boost gauge in my VOLVO 740, wanted it in the same place as the original so removed the clocks and spent some time making it fit and look good.

after replacing the dash and lots of happy boosty moments I thought all was good.

not so! whilst driving one day I went through a tunnel and noticed the dash lights weren't working. swore a bit but didn't worry to much as I KNEW it was only a loose wire and easily rectified.

I don't get a lot of free time to sort such things so after a few weeks I got out there today and started to take the clocks out. darkish coloured car, leather interior and full sunlight = chuffing hot car.
removed and fiddled about with everything to no avail. onto the Haynes wiring diagrams. no fix. onto the interweb of doom to find a solution, lots of useless info later and still no working dash lights.
at this point I was about to launch the clocks into the garden when my little boy (4) came out to tell me about Jurassic park.
"dad a man got eaten on the toilet by a t rex, he wasn't having a poo, just sitting there"

"ok son, I cant really talk about dinosaurs now I'm a bit busy" I said.

then he picked up the clocks, looked at them for a bit and said
"why does this little button turn round? what does it do?"
the little button in question was the dimmer button which I had inadvertently turned whilst originally taking the clocks out.

oh for the simplicity of thought of a 4 year old.

any one else going to admit to being as dopey as this.

[luckyseven]

Well, after a recent tranche of works on the exhaust and stuff I discovered my FD was only boosting to around .5BAR, less than half what it should. Jumped to the obvious conclusion, took it back to the shop, read them part of the Riot Act. Took it out for a drive, tech is like "oh, yeah, it does seem to open the wastegate early, we'd better sort that out". The problem was soon found. I'd forgotten to turn the boost controller on . The wastegate was just operating at spring pressure

My little one loves that bit of Jurassic Park too, btw Thought I was never really sure all that toot about Chaos Theory added much to the story, I kinda thought Michael Crichton just had "Idiots Guide to Chaos Theory" as his bog-side reading when he was writing it

[composimmonite]

In 1980 I was running a 1964 Sunbeam Rapier MKIV as my only car. It was parked up all day long in side streets of town whilst I was at work so a Krooklok was used. At a Sunbeam owners rally I again put the Krooklok on only to have other owners start laughing. One then showed me that if you unscrewed the centre of the steering wheel it allowed the column to telescopic. That meant to undo my Krooklok all a thief would have to do is move the steering wheel down for it to fall off. Needless to say I didn't know about the adjustable column !

paul h

[BenzBoy]

I was fitting new window mechanism to my Golf. I couldn't get the cables to go over the pulleys, and had the idea that if I connected the motor and pressed the switch for a second, it'll unwind the pulley enough to give me a bit more slack. Except I'd forgotten that a short press of the switch makes the window wind fully down, so the motor just wound and wound, knotting up the brand new cables until it was a twisted mess. I just threw it all in the bin and went home.

[dbizzle]

One night at uni about ten years ago, my housemate drove us to the student union. We got obscenely drunk, as you do, and got the bus home. The next day, none of us could remember where he parked. We looked all over town to no avail. In his hungover state, he resigned himself to the fact that he'd lost his Escort but it'd probably turn up.

He eventually stumbled across it on his way to a party. Three weeks later.

[dreadnought]

Aug 31, 2013 13:19:59 GMT dbizzle said:

One night at uni about ten years ago, my housemate drove us to the student union. We got obscenely drunk, as you do, and got the bus home. The next day, none of us could remember where he parked. We looked all over town to no avail. In his hungover state, he resigned himself to the fact that he'd lost his Escort but it'd probably turn up.

He eventually stumbled across it on his way to a party. Three weeks later.

my brother went to newquay years ago to a rave, from south wales. parked up in the town as it was an illegal rave, got so of his face on rave type substances that he couldn't remember were he parked his rover sd1. had to go home on train and waited two weeks before the police phoned him and asked him to collect his car, apparently it was a common thing.

[bavarianretro]

I got a puncture on the front wheel of my push bike. I stopped and fixed it. After tightening the QR spindle, I noticed that the tyre's rotation was wrong. curse word! I spent three seconds taking the wheel off and another fifteen minutes turning the tyre round.

[Deleted]

Surprisingly recently, I couldn't figure out why the Princess wouldn't start properly... I'd entirely forgotten that it had a manual choke. This is a car I drive every day. With the exception of the BX which was a diesel, every car I've had has had a manual choke. I am herp, hear me derp.

[120y]

I remember when I bought an FSO 125P was a 1300cc on an F plate, I got the chance of a C plate for £50 for spares this was a 1500cc.
We drove up in my Blue FSO to collect the other one, freed off the brakes on the red donor car and fastened it to mine with a tow rope.
Set off getting funny looks from people we past, half way the rope snapped and I left my buddy stuck in the red fso as at first I didn't realise the rope snapped.
I turned round and went back for him he was hiding in the car and hes shouting at me bloody embarrassed I was people looking at me like I was crazy, I couldn't stop laughing.
Our friendship survived that but even now I will still mention it usually by saying I'm thinking about getting an FSO again...........LOL

[composimmonite]

Aug 31, 2013 13:19:59 GMT dbizzle said:

One night at uni about ten years ago, my housemate drove us to the student union. We got obscenely drunk, as you do, and got the bus home. The next day, none of us could remember where he parked. We looked all over town to no avail. In his hungover state, he resigned himself to the fact that he'd lost his Escort but it'd probably turn up.

He eventually stumbled across it on his way to a party. Three weeks later.

At one time my daily round trip was 174 miles each, and every working day, just to get to and from the office. In winter I skidded on black ice into a bus and wrote off my Chrysler Sunbeam GLS. Due to the fact I needed to be at work early the next day and didn't want to add such high annual mileage to my Lancia HPE (kept safe in garage) or wifes new Metro I promptly bought a 5 year old Cortina 1.6L estate off a neighbour the same day as the accident. Next day after a tiring, late, spell at work, and not looking forward to the 2 hour drive home, I went to my normal parking space in the multistorey car park to find my car gone. Security guard came with me on every floor to confirm it wasn't anywhere in the building so Police were called. It was very embarrassing to then remember I'd changed cars and the Cortina was parked in the first place I'd looked - but I'd been expecting the Sunbeam !

Paul h

[dodgerover]

Aug 31, 2013 19:24:52 GMT composimmonite said:

Aug 31, 2013 13:19:59 GMT dbizzle said:

One night at uni about ten years ago, my housemate drove us to the student union. We got obscenely drunk, as you do, and got the bus home. The next day, none of us could remember where he parked. We looked all over town to no avail. In his hungover state, he resigned himself to the fact that he'd lost his Escort but it'd probably turn up.

He eventually stumbled across it on his way to a party. Three weeks later.

At one time my daily round trip was 174 miles each, and every working day, just to get to and from the office. In winter I skidded on black ice into a bus and wrote off my Chrysler Sunbeam GLS. Due to the fact I needed to be at work early the next day and didn't want to add such high annual mileage to my Lancia HPE (kept safe in garage) or wifes new Metro I promptly bought a 5 year old Cortina 1.6L estate off a neighbour the same day as the accident. Next day after a tiring, late, spell at work, and not looking forward to the 2 hour drive home, I went to my normal parking space in the multistorey car park to find my car gone. Security guard came with me on every floor to confirm it wasn't anywhere in the building so Police were called. It was very embarrassing to then remember I'd changed cars and the Cortina was parked in the first place I'd looked - but I'd been expecting the Sunbeam !

Paul h

Made me laugh there, you're not the only one i'm sure

[TurboDieselWeasel]

Was sitting in a customer's 230TE which I was to drive through the car wash. After waiting for like two minutes I realised these don't need to pre-glow and I can just turn the key and start the damn petrol engine

[hairnet]

ask maisie about simplicity of thought eh @steathstylz

roflled for ages

see sig

[fred]

Some great stories here,

Mine -
about ten or so years ago I acquired a rather nice ice blue XJ40 3.6 Jaaag, a week before my annual holiday down Pendine sands.

loaded her up, and got on the M5, hit 60 mph and this 'Brrrring' noise became apparent
Odd I thought, took her down to 55 and it went off, this worried me as at the time I knew pretty much zero about Jaaags. so I went all the way down to Pendine at 55 mph, took a long time,
and it was fine, pootled about down there and came all the way back at 55 mph.
occasionally taking it to 60 when this bloody noise came about again.
so when home I called my buds garage and told him of my plight.
Took it down, and he sat in it, and looked, then said - this 'Brrrring' is it a quiet drone?
Yes I said, he pointed to one of those darn air fresheners with a little fan in them clipped to the air vent
''I;ll get my snap on tool box out and take the fan out your freshener if you want''

A little bit of me died that day

[curryracer]

A guy told me of the long saga of having the rain sensitive screen changed on his new-ish Merc. Two different windscreen fitters and 3 screens later they worked out you had to have the driver's door shut for the system to work!

[sparko]

Me and a buddy replaced the head gasket on my 06 astra at the time, drove it home from his and it overheated... only forgot to connect tbe fan didn't I. Shortly followed by mayo coloured oil again

[Ian]

About 10 years ago I was out one Friday night down the pub with about 4 mates, as normal I was designated driver, mainly due to the fact I live furthest from the pub, and liked driving! All fine when we went into the pub with the car, came out o go to the next pub, unlock the car go to start up and nothing, totally dead, tried bump start, looked at every connection under the bonnet, nothing. So RAC man called and time to wait.
It was only then I put my hand in my pocket to find the transponder immobilized had come off my key ring, and was in my pocket.
Put it back on the key ring and car fired up first turn of the key.
?
Still don't live that down even today

[Copey]

with the SX motor in the Capper, i went to start the car one day turned over and fired, then cut out and wouldnt re-start, found the fuel pump wasnt running, checked the voltage, zip, checked the ECU for any error codes, "55" which after checking it "all fine" started checkin fuses and relays all fine, checked connections on the pump, all clean and fine was gonna go in and ask for possible causes online, switched the laptop on and brain just went "SWITCH YOU D******D!!!!" had totally forgotten the fuel pump cut off switch that i had fitted...so yeah, pretty damn dopey!!

[soretro]

owned a kadett MK2 and decided to change to LED bulbs in the dash and wasn't watching the time suddenly realized I had to pick up the wife but hadn't finished changing the battery bulb thought do it when I get back. Drove off stopped outside her office and the car wouldn't start a quick push and off I went. WeLl needless to say I spent the next couple of days parking on hills,until I got back to the battery shop I had purchased a fortnight ago and had it checked all good alternator good but no charge. That weekend thought let me finish the dash couldn't find the lED so popped the old bulb back took a drive down to the shops and the car started. I realized then without the battery bulb car doesn't charge carried a spare thereafter. But felt like a fool for blaming everybody else

[ChasR]

We all have senior moments...

The Passat of Doom never had working washer jets unless they were activated via VCDS. I did eventually get them working again. One day however the washer jets refused to work once more. I checked the car out on VCDS with them still not working! I was getting a little desperate truth be told. In the end it transpired to all of us that you need the bonnet to be closed for the jets to work!.