What a rubbish car...

[Mr. AJ]

..My car is.

Its sluggish to start, Idles high, The rev counter is intermittent, The headlights are rubbish, The dash lights are bright on one side and fade out to nothing on the other. The wiper blades are near-on useless. It takes ages to demist the windows because for the first 5-10minutes of using the car they're constantly fogging back up again and when i go around a sharp corner you can hear all the water thats somehow getting into the sill sloshing around inside it. Oh and the radio will not clip back in where it belongs and insists on sitting 2-3cms forward! It tramlines like a curse word on anything thats uneven, Sounds like a hippo farting when you accelerate, The central locking actuators keep falling off the mechanisms. If i wind the drivers window down then back up again 9 times out of 10 the trim will fall off. Oh, and theres no cup holders! Not a single one! Oh, and one of the wing mirror casings is made entirely of tape.

Yet i still love driving the little rotbox and look forward to having excuses to take it for a run out through the twistys and have no plans of selling/scrapping/setting fire to it!.




This leads me to wonder what little (Or big!) things does your car do that would cause any other sane person to instantly try to palm it off in the classifieds or frag it, But your constantly using to re-assure your mrs its just the cars 'Character' ;D

[HARDCORE]

That all sounds eminently fixable

[matty2300]

my ignition light glows if I have the blower, windscreen wipers and headlights on at the same time. It sounds like a bag of spanners in a tumbledryer in 1st gear. The speedo gets increasingly optimistic the faster you go. The sunroof drips right on your face the first time you pull away after its been raining. The heated rear screen doesn't work. It drinks petrol at an alarming rate. It has seriously boat-tastic body roll on corners. one wing is slowly transforming into a patch of rust on the drive that gets larger every day when I slam the door in the morning... Finally ive been stripping the carbs every other weekend as they intermittently like to pee fuel all over the place for no aparent reason (though ive bitten the bullet and am refurbing some Dellorto 45's to replace the incontinent strombergs)

but I love it and it still makes me grin like an idiot every time I drive ;D

[surprisingskoda]

Nov 16, 2010 1:08:11 GMT HARDCORE said:

That all sounds eminently fixable

It's not. This is how PSA made them and they're all like that. With the exception that this one has the radio sitting an inch proud - most fall in to the dash by a half inch and are impossible to get out, so on balance I think Mr OP has one of the better ones

[Deleted]

Mines had the engine management light on for the last 15k , ABS light for about the same but brakes work fine , front electric windows have never worked , Headlights are useless ,you can drive round with full beam on and not blind anyone , theres a squeak from the drivers door that sounds like a mouse on speed . Turbo works when it feels like it , Handles like its got slicks on it , handbrake ratchet is knackered so if you lean on it the handbrake comes off . gear lever is loose , cd player has died , trip computer only just glows so you cant read it , indicators turn on if you go over a bump but its the only car i got that i trust not to break down Oh and its a 406 hdi . Anybody wanna buy a pug ?

[PandaSelecta]

Pure and simply - the selecta gearbox doesnt work on the panda (blue one) so it either slips, or tries to pull me into the path of other cars at junctions

Still love the thing though and drive it whenever i can ;D

[speedy88]

Tramlines, wallows like a pig, I get worrying rattles daily, I seem to spend more time fixing it than anything else, the brakes overheat, the brake discs come loose regulary, brakes have recently started pulling randomly to both sides, backend never does what I tell it to (if I want to powerslide, it won't. But if I'm not paying attention it will throw itself into a spin), and it stalls all the time, mostly infront of attractive women.

But everything else is perfect, I funking love the fat trucker

[skinley]

When I were a lad.......... Etc.


Don't know you're born.........Etc.

[waveman1500]

Well, I agree with hardcore that the OP could probably fix most of those things in a weekend, although I do get what this thread is about. It's encapsulated perfectly in one of my favourite Brian Setzer songs, Who Would Love This Car But Me. Unfortunately I can't find a youtube version of it to post though, so the lyrics will have to do. Buy the Ignition album and listen to it, it's a great track!

It's got a leaky carburetor
A rusted out floor
Four broken windows
Bullet holes in the door
Torn up old seats
And the lock don't fit the key
Now baby who would really love this car but me?

Got the original paint
Joe put reflectors on the door
It's got a mexican blanket interior
It's missin' all the chrome
It must be plain to see
Baby who would really love this car but me?

Man I picked a lemon
A lemon from the tree
That grows in every junkyard
From here to tennessee
I know it's gonna start
I just can't find the key
So why the hell is everybody starin' at me?

It's just a '55 caddy
The brakes are no good
It won't leave you stranded
In a bad neighborhood
The lights don't even work
It must be plain to see
Baby who would really love this car but me

[pauldaf44]

squeel rattle bang pop but I sill love it

[akku]

I think you'll find they all do that sir...

[Dom]

No rev counter, or oil temp gauge, or clock, or cigarette lighter... So that's all win for no problems!

The driver's window needs both your hands to shut it so it goes up straight.
Half the headlight fix points are broken so they wobble about and makes a poor connection at times.
The basic headlights are so weak it's like being the lookout on the Titanic.
When you close the back doors it sounds like the Titanic scraping against the iceberg.
Only I can open the back doors first time.
The heater can demist the windscreen but only blows cold air at you.
The stereo has the programming memory of a gold fish. Switch it off and on and you've lost everything, but it's ok cos french radio is curse word anyway.
The exhaust rattles when you speed up slightly around town.
No cup holders and not even anywhere flat to put a cup!
The keys seem to be made out of some kind of nougat, wrapped in tinfoil.
You can't check the level in the radiator without a powerful torch.
The bar to hold the bonnet open has broken off it's catch and you need to balance it in place and hope the car has no sense of irony about 'bonnet' also being something that goes on your head.

I won't count "making the most of a downhill bit of motorway to take the wee 1L, 4-spd, 23yr old AX to 100mph and picking up good vibrations"
That and just cruising on country roads at 55mph with tunes are my favourite times.

[retrowagen1234]

Haha, Never realy thought of lil niggles as a character... One was of looking at it tho i guess.


Like my new problem of the waterpump bearings going,

the steering droplink creaking

rear brakes squeeling even tho they are brand new

handbrake seems to un adjust immediatly after adjusting it...

sometimes its pretty quick - other times its not...


All part of it tho i guess.

I drove my dads bug all the way to chichester from here yesterday afternoon. And although its a rattly old thing , its got a definate grin factor when you come onto the slip road , merge into the motorway and floor it straight out into the outside and past everyone , Fair enough they were only doing 60 but it felt fun... And some guy in a equaly rattly mini tried to race me ;D

[datman]

reminds me of a adam sandler song, Ode to my car , i'm sure you know the one.

[EmDee]

[retrowagen1234]

^^ haha " too wide for the drivethru and you smell like the shoe"

[joem83]

Best tip for getting water out of pug sils is:
Park on steep hill
Locate the rubber bung under the sill at what ever end is the lowest point
Jam either your finger or a screw driver through the rubber.
Takes about 5-10 minutes to empty each sill

[skinnylew]

Nov 16, 2010 10:39:44 GMT Dom said:

No cup holders and not even anywhere flat to put a cup!

The bar to hold the bonnet open has broken off it's catch and you need to balance it in place and hope the car has no sense of irony about 'bonnet' also being something that goes on your head.

SHould have bought the 3 door version, sod a cup holder, it has a pocket in the door for a 2litre bottle of coke or bottle of wine ;D

As for the bonnet its so light anyway there was only a catch to stop it blowing back onto the windscreen

[Dom]

Yeah seen that. Ah well.

[pirate]

I have a modern daily but i continue to drive my 1987 belmont. its a 1.8i auto.

It gives whip lash going into second gear, the suspension is so soft it bounces all over the place and when fully loaded it was nearly on the bumpstops, the fuel gauge reads low, then randomly jumps up 1/4 of a tank just as you drive into the fuel station, the blower has to be turned on to 3 then back to 1 to make it work and then its loud with added screaching, the dront discs are warped to hell an fade often, theres a knock from a drop link or something, most panels have faded a differant colour, the door cards have warped out near the windows, the dash light dimmer works when it wants normaly turning off just when a cop goes past an you need to see how fast your going, its got the original HU which the tape doesnt work and the ariel isnt really attached havnt got around to it in almost 2 years, there is random bits of moss growing all over it, and a door trim missing.

but i love driving it, other drivers actualy get out my way as it looks like i just don't care, its actualy pretty quick for a standard 23 year old vauxhall, the kickdown makes me smile an the fact its only 3 speed means its normaly already "on cam" it takes more skill to drive it quickly, ive driven it all over the place, 800 miles in a week no probs.
oh and its never failed a mot and cost me all of £150. with tax and test over 2 years ago. (and i actualy looked for a belmont 1.8glsi as id had one years ago).